Just One

There are days when I struggle.

Shocking I know but yes, I, Hope Ruebke struggle and this twisting of my heart and wrenching of my stomach take place when I see injustice and its just simply not enough to help one child; I want to help them all.

There's so much need in every child that I see; yes some are more needy than others but they're all beautiful and amazing children and I just want to protect them, to give them pure love, to help them to grow both physically and mentally with God. It's a huge task; one that can and will leave you weary thinking of everything that needs to be done.

The little girl of three sisters that attend the school cut her arm several weeks ago; they brought her to us and we were able to take her next door to have stitches placed. But, the wound was not taken care of properly. So, my fellow intern and I have been diligently caring for her arm at the end of the day these past weeks and praise God it is healing much faster. She doesn't cry when we clean her wound, she will turn away and begin to rub the back of who ever is holding her, usually James, she will squeeze her eyes shut and lean heavily into his chest, but no tears, no cries. She is incredibly strong girl, her home life is hard; I ask for prayer for this beautiful girl and her sisters. James and I have been walking them home from school a big part of the reason is because we really can't say goodbye to them.

I also treated another little girl yesterday; but not for a cut. There are sores all over legs that she has scratched and rubbed so badly it's hard to distinguish whether they are ringworm, boils or eczema and they may very well be all. But, I placed medicine on all of her sores (I couldn't count how many there were) placed bandages and we were able to find her a pair of pants to cover them up as well as to keep her from scratching. This girl is also cross-eyed and I've been giving the job of placing a patch on her eye and switching it through-out the day; I love her so much and she reminds me of one of the kids I used to babysit as well as teach dance too. She came today wearing the pants which I was extremely grateful for as I wasn't sure what her parents would think as she is usually in a dress. Please keep her in your prayers as well.

I have story after story of hard home lives, sickness and behavior that causes us to worry. I didn't imagine that I would be holding children with burning fevers,  treating children for different things and mending clothing and shoes as they break apart. But this is where God has called me. It's easy to turn a blind eye and only see their beautiful smiling faces that shine no matter what and get caught up in the lie that everything is fine and prayer is not that important but I tell you praying is the most important tool that we have and we don't use the tools we are given we are not working to the best of our abilities and not only do we suffer for it but others as well. James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

I bought a starfish bracelet while I was on the island of Capri, from the pearly bracelet dangle silver starfish and I bought it as a reminder when hard days come to remember that: it matters to the one. Though I want to hold all of the kids; it matters to the one child that is sitting on my lap giggling away or leaning into my chest. Though I want to walk all of the kids home it matters to the one riding on my back or the one cradled in my arms. Though I know there are countless other children in the world what I'm doing here matters to the ones that I am loving on here, in the moment, everyday with His pure and unconditional love.

It's a hard love sometimes but it's love nonetheless.