To Fix

To fix, the Merriam Webster Dictionary gives these definitions: 

Fix
: to make (something) whole or able to work properly again: to repair (something)
: to deal with or correct (a problem) : to attach (something) in such a way that it will not move : to connect or join (things) physically

We're told to "fix" our eyes on Jesus in Hebrews 12:12(NIV) and in devotions over the last couple months God keeps bringing this back to me and to "be still and know that He is God" Psalm 46:10. I'm not good at being still; I like to be working on something, reading, listening to someone or music, doing something at all times otherwise I don't feel like I'm doing, anything... ha funny right? Sometimes we have good intentions, our servant hearts are pounding away, our eyes take in all the need and our hands and feet move and move and move. But, if our eyes are not fixed on God; if He is not driving us and moving us; it's all for not. Jesus says in Matthew 7:21-23 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!"

I had a deep talk with a wonderful friend a while back who, along with her husband, is the head of mobilization with an organization that is very close to my heart. We talked about how being a missionary is tough, both stateside and overseas. The: culture shock, asking people to sponsor you, learning the language, illness, dealing with the hardest of hearts, cultivating relationships etc, is all tough but I think all missionaries will tell you that the culmination of all of that and what is driven out of you is the toughest. I'm not talking about exhaustion. I'm talking about deep spiritual things, that "dark side" you didn't know you had, the past that you can't get away from that rises to the surface because becoming a missionary, you are not transformed into a perfect person when you step off the plane or start a Bible study etc in your hometown. You're just not. Sorry to burst y'alls bubbles but you are still you and if you have things that you have tucked away, hidden out of sight they will rise up and it's not a pretty thing. Some people come back broken and needing counseling, I know a handful of them stateside. 

I'm not saying these people failed or if you're there that you are failing. No. We're all in the same boat. We're all humans and hopefully this will be a good reminder not a beating.

We tend to forget that God is our Friend and Healer. We put Him in this box where He's God. And that's it. He's way up there and He's God. Too high to care about me, too high to accept my guilt and shame, too high and mighty to be anything but... God. Well; why don't you let God decide? Why don't you trust God with all of that? Let me put the definitions for fix a little differently:

Fix
: For God to make you whole or able to work properly again: to repair/heal you

: For God to deal with or correct a problem : For you to attach, to draw near in such a way that you will not be moved by the world : to connect or join spiritually

Put's "fix your eyes on God" in a different light, right? It's not "look at God"/"Look but do not talk or touch God. No, it's trusting God. It's letting Him heal and work in and through you. It's being held in His arms and being His daughter or son and not trying to do it yourself because, though you might be able to carry on for awhile you will eventually stumble and fall. I know because I've been there. I still stumble and fall and try to pull that burden back onto my shoulders. I wrestle. But God, He is continually chipping away and sculpting me into something beautiful. He doesn't make mistakes.

I love butterflies. They are a constant reminder of God's transforming power, you might feel imprisoned by your chrysalis, the change hurts and it's taking f.o.r.e.v.e.r...... but, we are new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) and it's always worth it! God doesn't put us through unnecessary pain, His chisel didn't slip, that wasn't an "oops" because God doesn't make mistakes. How incredible and wonderful is that?! 

This next week, as we think on Jesus' sacrifice I encourage you to fix your eyes on Jesus, to let Jesus take those hurts and pains to the cross, to hand whatever it is over and let Him deal with it, to draw near to Him so that you can stand strong and continue on. The choice to let go is not easy but once you've opened your hand it's gone, it's truly gone.