Count it All Joy

“I can’t believe this is the last day of preschool” this thought kept circling round and round my head from the moment I woke up on Friday to the moment I laid it down. Time in Haiti is funny thing. As far as time concerning a clock the people of Haiti don't really run their lives by it. Most people show up late or whenever they want; whether they had an appointment at a certain time for or a wedding was supposed to start at 2 and it's just now about to begin at 4:30; you have to laugh most of the time and sometimes it’s nice to not worry about the time. But; there are only two seasons (in my Kansas mind) here in Haiti: Summer and fall. Because, the majority of the time it’s hot and humid and leaves fall every day. Literally. Every morning someone sweeps or fishes flowers and leaves out of the pool or yard and into a wheelbarrow and by the next morning more will have fallen. Don't get me wrong I don't miss freezing from October to May AT ALL but it makes a year, over a year here, time wise, seem very strange.

This was my second preschool graduation in Haiti and both times I've been so humbled as God opens my eyes to see just how far these kids have come and their perseverance throughout the year. It's easy to get frustrated with a student and to focus on the wrong things; like where the child should be compared to other children, how many times you've corrected this or told them that. But Shelley, one of my director's, holds staff meetings at the end of the day and she always asks us "How did you see God work today? What prayers did you see answered? What child needs prayer" and as we talk about our day she never fails to encourage and remind us just how far a child's come and that the fact that while yes pouting and whining isn't ideal it is actually a step up from them lashing out at other children or us! 

4's and 5's singing

We split our three classes up and had each of them put together a little program for their parents. The oldest class went first; singing and clapping to This is the Day in English and Kreyol. They then recited Genesis 1:1 in English, French and Kreyol.

"Thank you God for my mouth to sing praises to you"

One of the girls had memorized a Haitian poem thanking God for eyes to see His creation, a mouth to sing praise etc. in choosing Bible verses for the children to memorize we wanted something that the children could hold on to and put into practice and Philippians 4:11-13 came to mind; it was a little over a month to graduation and they would need to memorize it in 3 languages and not only did they memorize it but a song in French and English that was made from that verse! After repeating the 5 rules of school they lifted up their angelic voices and began to sing 10,000 Reasons (verse 1 and the chorus in English)

The 5 rules of school

As I had been sick most of the month of May I chose 10 of the kids to work with the last 2 weeks of school, who remembered the first part of their routine, to dance for their parents. I must confess I was a little worried when we started but they persevered, listened, made corrections and danced beautifully to All in All for their parents. I chose All in All because I had heard it sung outside of preschool and several parents actually started quietly singing along as the kids danced making it even more beautiful :)

Proud Mama

Then came the 3's class singing Stop and Let Me Tell You led by two of their classmates. Their Bible verse was Psalm 34:1 "I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth"

"Stop and let me tell you what the Lord has done for me"

They then sang the colors of the rainbow and a couple shouted out the colors in English while waving a paper with that color, so cute! One of our 3's knew the song Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes in English and Kreyol. Her tiny little voice echoed through the car port as everyone sat quietly listening to her :)

One of our teachers daughters, who is in the 3's class, said a poem in English called "My Hands". She has so much sass and cuteness in her little pinkie that she had everyone rolling and she skipped out and cleared her throat before beginning ;) They then sang Into My Heart (once everyone stopped laughing) in English and French followed by their dance to I've Got the Joy. I chose this song because the 3's class have so much energy and joy you can't help but smile at their mischievous ways ;)

Come into my heart Lord Jesus

Last, but not least, came the little 2's in a line singing their ABC's. We had 32 little two-year olds this past year! They also sang This is the Day in English and kreyol. Their Bible verse was Ephesians 6:1 "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right" which they recited in English, French and Kreyol!

2's class

Next they chose 5 of the kids to say the rules of school which was honestly one of the cutest things I've ever seen! The pronunciation on several of the words have a lot of lip and the teachers wanted to be sure that the children said them correctly so we were all in stitches as they stuck their little lips out or drew out a word.

Pro-nun-ci-ate

One of our 2's picked up on things VERY quickly and would assist the teachers when they asked questions etc in class and so for graduation she got in front of the class and asked them the days of the week in English and Kreyol and then had them say the order of the days in English and Kreyol. I hope she becomes a teacher someday :)

The little teacher

Their last song before dancing was This Little Light of Mine which the ladies recently translated into Kreyol so they were able to sing it in English and Kreyol :) They then performed a fun little dance my dance teacher taught me a long time ago called Cat and Mouse which they all love!

I'm gonna let it shine

As I watched each class perform and show everything they'd learned this past year God brought James 1:2-4 to my mind, along with a couple tears... "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Life in Haiti isn't easy, working at a preschool in Haiti isn't easy, learning a second language isn't easy, working with the culture isn't easy, teaching dance in a carport isn't easy.... to wrap it up; its not easy. There are trials in the every day I never would have thought would be a trial; but they are! And sometimes the testing becomes too much and I'm just done, I feel I've failed, I'm grumpy and frustrated with myself and I want to be done but God always gives me something to hold onto and as I watched and was reminded of just how far every single one of the kids had come I counted it all joy. James MacDonald in his series on trials says:

“count it all joy” part is a stretch for many of us, because we immediately think God is telling us to be giddy in our difficulties or happy when the hammer of hardship falls on our lives. Joy is much deeper than any superficial emotional response. Joy is the settled awareness that God still has everything under control. Joy can be just as real whether we have tears rolling down our cheeks or a smile on our face.

When the Scripture says God is working everything out for the ultimate good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28), that doesn't mean we're going to have everything we want. But James 1:4 tells us our joyful steadfastness (our endurance) leads to us being “perfect,” “complete,” and “lacking in nothing.”

The tears were worth it, the patience with naughty kids was worth it, the repetition was worth it,  the pushing and coaxing was worth it because not only had I persevered and grown in my faith; but the kids had persevered as well! That is a lesson that dance teaches so well and one of the reasons I think dance is important for children and development.

To sum it all up I couldn't be prouder of the preschoolers and I count it joy to walk here in Haiti, with God through trials big and little because I've learned so much more and grown so much more walking and fighting through things here in Haiti then I would had I just given in and gone home when things started to get tough. Thank you to everyone who's continued to support and encourage me as I've walked this past year and a half. Please continue praying for guidance and wisdom as English camp starts Monday and the future is foggy but I know God will give me light for each day :)

You Never Let Me Down

(This was written in May but somewhere in the craziness was never posted so, here it is)

Last year, around this time I wrote an post on the Chikungunya virus and what God was teaching me through it. Well May seems to be the month of sickness for me in Haiti; Wednesday, the 13th of May, I came down with a case of mumps that had spread like wildfire through the preschool. It was kind of funny as I learned that the literal kreyol translation for mumps is: sick sheep and was told by my fellow teachers and Haitian brothers that when they call out "malmouton" (sick sheep) I have to "baa" and I will be healed. It didn't work but the staff did visit me in my room for a good laugh at my swollen cheeks and to pray over me. Such wonderful, God loving people.

After spending almost a week in bed, I was able to be up that Monday though it was a holiday so no school. Tuesday I got to play, gently, with my preschoolers. However, Wednesday I woke with with a horrible migraine, nausea, hot sweats, fever, chills, a weird chest pain and vomiting. The first day I slept the majority of it, holding a pillow over my head and a thick blanket to somehow block out: preschool, airplanes landing and taking off, motorcycles, drums, horns, cars, bells, dogs.... everything; it hurt to open my eyes, even the dark was too bright and the noise, the tiniest thing was SO loud. 

I've been having issues with nightmares while living in Haiti and the second day I had this urgency to be with Jesus and to really just focus on Him and it honestly turned into one of the sweetest times with Jesus I've ever had, just listening to His voice which cut through the loud noise like a soothing lullaby. The night before, a dear friend, who I hadn't spoken to in awhile, skyped me & had reminded me that God is holding me and telling me that He loves me over and over and over again and I need to stop and listen. It was truly a gift from God because as I lay there, "hiding" from the world, recalling these words; I heard God whispering it to me and I began to go through all the Bible verses my mom had my siblings and me memorize in school (thank you mamacita) and this peace and even joy touched my heart as I lay there the 7 dwarfs mining away at me skull and God blessed me with beautiful dreams and deep sleep.

The third day I was doing better but, if I moved I was lunging for the bathroom to throw up, not my favorite thing in the world. It didn't hurt to open my eyes anymore and I could look at a screen for 10 minutes before I started seeing spots :p I updated y'all and then began listening to music on my ipod; God always speaks to me through music and (as my wonderful madame Sue force fed me rehydration fluid every 10 min) I put my ipod on shuffle listening to my favorite christian artist worship God and I was touched so deeply as I listened to the words and felt the power behind the music. My heart and soul began to worship and His presence surrounded me as I lay there.

There is a lady who toured with one of my all time favorite artists and authors: Andrew Peterson (seriously go look him up if you don't know his work and buy it ALL) her name was Jill Philips. And I remember being so touched by her as a 13-14 year old that I spent the money I'd earned that week buying both her CD's and I listened to her for months! I haven't listened to her for a few years but one of my favorite songs came on that day and it spoke such truth, I cried. Here is my favorite part of the song: 

You might let me cry
You might let me sing
You might let me feel a fraction of your suffering
But you won't let me down
You never let me down

If I could just stop striving
And surrender to your holy power
I know your loving arms will lift me up
And never let me down
You never let me down

I struggle with letting people down; even thinking that I might throws a wrench in my stomach and I'll do just about anything to not let people down. And that's wrong. God didn't make me to please people. He gave me a heart to feel deeply and to love courageously, eyes to see needs, feet to go where He is and hands to hold those who are falling apart all in His name and for His glory alone. He's never let me down and He's never once called me a bad name or pushed me away from Him because I didn't do a "perfect job" or I didn't "work hard enough" or I spent all day in bed.... no... in every moment of our day there is time to draw closer to God, to stop and just be in His presence, seeking His will and just listening. Especially when you're laying in bed doing... nothing. God doesn't waste time. He could have sent Jesus as a grown man down to earth, Jesus could have only spent and week on this earth but He didn't. And for so many reasons I'm positive I don't know all of them. But He's always seeking us and by our side, It's not all for not; no matter how painful it gets or how many tears you cry if your heart is chasing after Him your life, though it may not go exactly how you'd like, will be an incredible adventure and as you look back you'll see His hand and though it seemed like you were in the pit of despair he really never let you down.

I did, after one failed trip to the doctor, another successful trip to the doctor, tests, rehydration fluid, prayers, medication and a ton of sleep get better. My tests all came back negative, we think it was the new Zika virus or one of the many unnamed virus here in Haiti ;) I'm continuing to plug away here in Haiti, I appreciate all the prayers and donations you guys send. There will be more updates coming soon!