Thankful

This is the last week of my Thankful series, I hope you guys have enjoyed the frequent updates; I know a couple of them I barely published on time but, I enjoyed doing a series and taking time at the end of the week to really focus on what giving thanks was and what I was truly thankful for.

I'm thankful.

Have you heard the hymn "It Is Well" by: Horatio G. Spafford? It is one of my favorites. 

Digging a little deeper into the hymns history I found that Horatio was a successful Christian lawyer, happily married with four daughters and a son. Around the time Horatio was 43 he lost his only son, the same year a fire swept through Chicago; he had invested hugely in real estate a few months earlier and the disaster wiped out his holdings. Two years later Horatio planned a trip to Europe with his wife and 4 daughters. On the day they were supposed to leave he had some urgent business and stayed behind as his wife and daughter sailed to Europe. But their ship was struck by another ship and sank. Only his wife survived. As Horatio sailed to meet his wife and was passing the place where his daughters ship had sunk, he penned the first lines of It is Well.

When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought

My sin, not in part but the whole

Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll

The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend

Even so, it is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

Wow... the founder of my church here in Haiti spoke today and his main point was that the cross is everything. And it is so true! Because He endured the cross, we can endure this seemingly long road called life. Because He died so that others could have life, we can die to ourselves to serve and reach others so that they may know His name. Because He loves us and will never stop loving us, we can see people through His eye and we can love with boundless love. Because of ALL of this it is well with our souls. And though "When sorrows like sea billows roll", though things spin out of control, though you mess up you are still His child and it is well with your soul. 

And it's the same with being thankful. Though you're frustrated and good things come and go you will always have something to be thankful for; that is Jesus Christ. 

Thankful Week 3

Wow, was that just one week?! Time either flies or drags along it seems. And this was a long week  where bits and pieces flew. I'm not complaining and saying this week was horrible, there was just a lot packed into it, lots of stress but also it was a week in His kingdom, doing something I love. There will be another blog post shortly following this but; thankful. What am I thankful for this week?

I am thankful that God answers our prayers.

Yes, sometimes it seems like He doesn't. But I learned from a very young age, when my mom had my siblings and I memorize: A Poem by: Amy Carmichael, that He answers every prayer we say.

Just a tiny little child

Three years old,

And a mother with a heart

All of gold.

Often did that mother say,

Jesus hears us when we pray,

For He's never far away

And He always answers.

Now, that tiny little child

Had brown eyes,

And she wanted blue instead

Like blue skies.

For her mothers eyes were blue

Like forget-me-nots. She knew

All her mother said was true,

Jesus always answers.

So she prayed for two blue eyes,

Said "Good night,"

Went to sleep in deep content

And delight.

Woke up early, climbed a chair

By a mirror. Where, O where

Could the blue eyes be? Not there;

Jesus hadn't answered.

Hadn't answered her at all;

Never more 

Could she pray; her eyes were brown

As before.

Did a little soft wind blow?

Came a whisper soft and low,

"Jesus answered. He said, No;

Isn't No and answer?"

I was homeschooled and when my mom wanted us to remember something or truly understand something she did a pretty amazing job of helping us remember or figure it out. Something I really just started seeing and am grateful for. But when we memorized this mom explained why God said "No" and how if she had gotten her way she would not have been able to rescue all of the children from the temples that she did! 

This past Monday didn't go as well as I had hoped and Wednesday morning had me feeling like it wasn't worth getting out of bed. I prayed, did my devotions and sat listening to the school next door play "You Are Holy". I don't know if I verbally prayed and said "God give me strength for today" or if it was more of a thought as time ticked away. But He gave it to me as the first 10 children made a circle in the carport. I prayed, wanting to know if this was going to work and if I was the one and He showed me that it can and I am. I prayed that the children listen and obey and enjoy class and they did! 

Even though Friday was not as good as Wednesday I feel like God handed my a gift wrapped up in Wednesday and said "Not everything is perfect, not everything is easy, children are going to be children no matter where they are, but hey, I'm with you and it's going to be ok and there will come a day you'll see that will blow you away. Trust me."

God answered my prayers in a way that left me so happy and full that I fell asleep by 8:30! And I feel like God is happy to show us a peek of the future when our hearts are just... yearning to follow Him and to do what He has called us. It's easy to jump for joy and praise God in the happy and joyful times but what I've been working on its praising God though I'm stressed, though things aren't working out and trying to not make it be... fake. I feel like sometimes we or I at least tend to pray in the bad times with a body bowed but eyes searching.  Knowing this is a trial, taking it on, trying to draw close to Him, to learn the lesson...but my eyes search for the good times or the "Yay! You made it! Burdens over, here are some blessings" type thing. I don't mean to but God's kind of showed me that I have in the past. And yes, we do have that eternal hope that the trials will end. But, I feel like when we're keeping an eye on the blessings and not fully immersed in what is going on now, focusing on just who our father is and leaning into His arms and trusting Him, we're missing something. 

When the prodigal son came home and His father wrapped His arms around Him I'm sure his face was buried in His fathers robes, not peeking over his shoulder to see if there was a feast already prepared, no! For that wonderful moment (that probably seemed like an eternity and still wasn't long enough) it was just him and His father. His fathers love.

I pray that as life continues and trials bear down that I would fully immerse myself in God and place myself completely in Him. That however God answers my prayers I would be able to thank and praise Him whether I understand the answer or not.  

I'm still growing; I don't think I will ever stop and I'm nowhere near the person that I want to be as a daughter of God, but I'm not where I used to be and that's because of answered prayers, not just my own; but families and friends prayers as well and sometimes the answer was "yes", sometimes it was "no" and sometimes it was "not right now" but they were all answered and I'm thankful.

Thankful Week 1

November is the month of Thanksgiving and so every Saturday/Sunday I'm going to try and write a blog about about what I'm thankful for for that week.

I spent a little less then two months in the states and through the ups and downs I am truly thankful for the time that I had there. True, I spent most of the time sleeping or at my chiropractors but when I got up and raced around there were people who made an effort and were there for me and y'all deserve a shout out.

Going back I was nervous and excited and I think I had an easier time leaving here then the friends I've made in Haiti because I knew that I was coming back very soon. But coming home after being gone was hard.

It was hard seeing that my siblings have grown so much. It was hard not getting the new inside jokes. It was hard when my nieces and nephews would rather be with a different aunt or uncle. it was hard when people that I thought I would get to see didn't make an effort to make that happen or discouraged me from going back to Haiti. It was hard when little children didn't understand my Creole. It was hard.

But, the support system God has given me was incredible.

I am thankful to my mom who put together everything for my support dinner, made the doctors appointments, reminded me to take my pills, ordered things for me, made me sleep, tried to tell me that I was still pushing myself to far and has prayed for me and loved me since the day I was born.

I am thankful for my dad and his hard work, protection, caring and strong heart and all of his prayers and love as well.

I am thankful for my siblings and the individual relationships we all have with eachother. Though some are better then others we are all still siblings and we look out for each other, pray for each other, support each other, love each other, fight with each other, listen to each other and we all laugh together.

I am thankful to the wonderful ladies that took me out for breakfast and lunch and listened as I poured out my heart and encouraged me as I shared hopes, dreams and fears though I'm sure none of them meant to talk for 3 or more hours they never said a word about it and it meant a lot.

I am thankful for my bible study group: Bonfire. For the lessons, deep conversations, friendships, laughs and over all the community that I've found there. I'm sure it's a lot quieter there now though (I have a very loud laugh)

I am thankful for my swing dancing buddies!!!! I had an absolute blast and it meant a lot to be able dance again, even if it was just for fun and not as technical as ballet.

I am thankful for my chiropractor and all of the adjustments and for putting together a garage sale where the proceeds went to my work here in Haiti.

I am thankful for my Judgment House scene 5 family, our awesome director and that I was able to play a role in it again this year.

I am thankful for making all of my connections and wonderful people to sit beside on the planes.

I am thankful to be back in Haiti and I am thankful for all of my supporters and all of the different ways that they support me!!!!

And I am eternally grateful to my Lord and Savior for everything that He has given me and all the lessons, whether they were easy or hard I'm grateful because they have made me who I am today. I am not who I want to be but God is always growing me and loving me despite all and no amount of praise and thanks I give Him will ever be enough but I'm still very grateful and look forward to following Him wherever He leads me.