Waiting

*I will be writing another blog post at some point, detailing more of my health journey the past few months, but this was what was on my heart to share with you today.

The world is a scary place, it's always been but, as I'm growing older it seems especially daunting what with: the threat of ISIS, the presidential race, a horrible mass shooting 15min from my families homes, fires that have burned thousands of acres of farmland and homes, the attack on godly morals in the USA, the normality of broken families, the lack of true relationships and an uncertain future in this world that's going downhill fast... but wait, the future, however we may feel and worry about it, is extremely certain. Jesus taking up humanity, dying and coming back to life was not for a lost cause! This world will not last, Satan doesn't have the final say, Jesus made a way for us to live and to be with Him forever, that is the GREATEST news we will ever receive!

We forget this truth in the midst of our fears. Faith and life is not always easy and hey Jesus' life wasn't easy! But, where your focus is and what your attitude is, changes everything. If we're focusing on God, trusting that His will and timing are perfect, that fear is transformed to faith and our attitude is not one that is not giving up on the world but sees the hope and potential in people. 

One of my favorite Bible stories is Joseph. Joseph knew a thing or two about waiting - I often forget that Joseph's story doesn't take place in a couple of months. He was imprisoned for over 3 years and 15 years passed before he saw his dream come true. What has always stood out to me is Joseph's character while he was waiting for God's plan and blessings, he was: faithful, loving, kind and trusted God even though he had been sold into slavery and imprisoned for something he didn't do! In the end we see that God was preparing Joseph to become second in command of all Egypt through the many trials Joseph encountered.
God has done and will do great things with and through us, but, if we're focused on ourselves or caught up in fear, we will miss opportunities. God doesn't need us and honestly there are billions of other people He can use, and He will if we're not open and willing to His leading.

Waiting on God, trusting Him through this life is not always fun and easy, but where in the Bible was the promise that it would be?  

Matthew 10:22 "You will be hated by all because of My name" 

Luke 21:16-17 "But you will be betrayed even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death, and you will be hated by all because of My name." 

Acts 14:22 "Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God."

2 Timothy 3:12 "Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."

Philippians 1:29 "For to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake,

1 John 3:13 Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you.
Wow.... ok, didn't need that reminder Hope! Sorry! However, it's the truth but, the second half of that promise are found in some of the following:
Romans 5:3–4 "... but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good, to those who love God to those who are called according to His purpose"Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation[ has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted  beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."2 Corinthians 4:7–12 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you."1 Peter 4:12-13 "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed"

Revelation 2:10

'Do not fear what you are about to suffer....Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life"

It has been 4 months since I had surgery and flew back to Kansas. This is my first blog post this year and I do have to admit that my focus and attitude have not always been where and what they should be (I'm still human sorry; I know you're shocked) I've been frustrated, angry, worried and felt completely lost. I'm not healing as fast as I would like to be and I feel like a waste of space some days. However, I'm having more good health days then bad, I've had some fun times with a couple of friends and my family and God reminds me on a daily basis that our worth is not determined by our works and God rested on the 7th day and Jesus took time to rest and be rejuvenated. I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be and I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Waiting. 

Kisses

I've known him for a year a half. He didn't attend preschool this past year and knowing a lot of his story, this scared me as my mind would race from one scenario to the next. I saw him earlier this year, but he wouldn't talk or look at me. His yellow rain boots had seen better days and the infection on his head was back in full force. "I don't know" his old teacher replied when I asked what was wrong "I don't think he's doing well in school and he's ashamed of that" I held him close for awhile, trying to find the right words. Encouraging words. I held him arms length away "Cheri?" his hands stayed over his face, I gently tried to bring them down but he refused and started to back away "ok ok cheri" I pulled him back into a hug and kissed his head "I love you..... and we all miss you" he nodded, his face still hidden. "Ok I will see you again, yes?" he nodded again as he headed out the black gate through the murky puddles back to wherever he'd come from. My heart was heavy and I sent a message to some friends that knew him, asking for prayer.

I didn't see him for a couple months and then suddenly, as I was saying goodbye to the preschoolers and gathering registration forms, his head popped around the corner along with another boy! I ran over kissing his dirty cheeks and smiling like crazy "You're here! I've missed you! Let me look at you!" the infection on his head had cleared up and he looked happier, still cautious but happier. One of the mothers was waiting for me to make a copy of her child's birth certificate and I had to get change for another; ay, if only time would stand still for a little bit, right? He told me he was doing ok in school and he was here to pick up his cousin, and that his friend wanted water. I laughed, kissed him again (though he tried to dodge it) grabbed a couple cups of water and raced up the stairs.
Returning with change and the birth certificate he was just exiting the gate, I called after him and he begrudgingly stepped back inside "you can't leave without saying goodbye!" he rolled his eyes and tried to hurry out the gate but I caught him, kissed him on the cheek, told him I loved him. He shrugged and laughed grabbing his cousin's hand and headed back down the road again.

School ended and English Camp registration was almost full and I hadn't seen him or his half brother, who also used to attend preschool. "God's watching out for them" I kept telling myself praying and hoping they would both make it in time. The last day we did registration, I was bringing a form to the registration table and there he sat, waiting to be registered! He moved up a class this year but I would still be his teacher :D He was unresponsive to me and kept staring at his dusty sandals. I didn't push it "I will see you at camp, ok? I'm so glad you're here" gave him a pat on the back and headed back inside.

For the first few weeks of English Camp he wouldn't talk to me again, I always caught him as the kids filed into my classroom and kissed his forehead but he usually shrugged it off. I decided that that was enough every morning and to not push him further than that. I really wanted to just take him aside and find out what really was going on but knowing him, that wouldn't work. The third week of camp I was talking to another child and as he walked by with his class he gave me a huge kiss on the cheek! From that point on he was back to being his cheerful, mischievous self that I'd known him as. He began participating in the games and exercises, helping his classmates understand the rules, wanting piggyback rides, smiling, laughing and wanting to hold my hand.

His turnaround was one of the highlights of my summer and I know that I played a just a small role in his story. English Camp is an incredible program. While yes, the children are given the opportunity to learn and practice speaking English, learn about science and their world from a godly perspective, hear Bible stories, memorize Bible verses, have their questions answered; the main goal is to shine the love of God to these kids. To give them godly examples and leaders, to teach them how to be good leaders, to encourage them in any way we can, and for every child to leave knowing that they are loved and precious in God's eyes. That Jesus died on the cross and defeated death by rising from the grave three day later so that He could call us each of them His sons and daughters. Its an exciting thing to be a part of to watch God fulfill every year!

If you would like to donate towards this ministry please go to: mcmhaiti.org and donate

"Cheri mwen a"

Recipe for Lemonade

"When life give you lemons; make lemonade" sounds simple enough! Though; you do need something to cut the lemons, something to squeeze them, something to put the juice in and unless you like super sour lemonade some sugar and water. Not as easy as it originally seemed, right? I've had a rough couple of weeks and though I'm still working on "making lemonade" with my lemons; here is my recipe so far.

Lemonade for life:

1) cup fresh squeezed lemon juice

As we walk daily with Christ and seek His will and work towards the furthering of His Kingdom; Satan works against us and it can be discouraging, drawn out, hard, stressful and leave a bitter taste in your mouth. The car breaks down for the upteenth time and you don't have money for repairs = lemon. Someone starts talking badly behind your back at work = lemon. A family member is suddenly hospitalized = lemon. You lose your job = lemon. Life is changing and you don't know where to go or what to do = lemon, lemon, lemon, lemon. Life isn't easy and God even promises us in His word that it won't be easy! As I've grown I feel like God keeps giving me a distaste for this world; material things here just don't satisfy and the world becomes more and more sinister and it's a hard to not be hardened, crabby or bitter towards people. So take all of that and put it in God's pitcher.

2) cups sugar
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects,  always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Cor. 13:4-8 just as a "spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down" so does a couple cups of love, even a dash of love and those lemons are not as sour as they used to be. Perspective is everything and situations can either break you or make you stronger and therefore draw you closer to God or pull you away. Things get so hard and depressing so fast and when you meditate on them they become bigger and harder. However; that's where God comes in and when we trust Him our perspective shifts from the problems and ourselves to Him and He shows us the beauty of His hand, how little the problems are and the joy hidden in the mess.

3) cups cold water
The Word of God is living water to our thirsty souls. He speaks so clearly in His word and I've been brought to tears countless time by the beauty, love and wisdom that I've found drinking from His Word and pouring out my heart to Him in prayer. Prayer is essential and it doesn't have to be pretty! It can be just that gut wrenching cry as you just drop to your knees, that tear that silently trickles down your cheek or a whispered "Help me". God understands. He knows our hearts, our dreams, desires, hurts, how many times we've smiled and how many times we've cried. Our prayer to Him doesn't need to be eloquent, it needs to be real. 

So, take your lemon juice and begin to sprinkle it with some sugar. It's not easy as the majority of the time we'd much rather "give people what they deserve" which love usually isn't the first thing that pops into our minds. But, love anyway. Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." and it's a struggle for sure but Satan has already been defeated, don't live life like he's won. 
Add your water as you are filled through Jesus' word and stir vigorously. 

Just keep trusting, praying, drawing near to Him and loving. You'll begin to see a change in ways you wouldn't have thought possible.