Waiting

*I will be writing another blog post at some point, detailing more of my health journey the past few months, but this was what was on my heart to share with you today.

The world is a scary place, it's always been but, as I'm growing older it seems especially daunting what with: the threat of ISIS, the presidential race, a horrible mass shooting 15min from my families homes, fires that have burned thousands of acres of farmland and homes, the attack on godly morals in the USA, the normality of broken families, the lack of true relationships and an uncertain future in this world that's going downhill fast... but wait, the future, however we may feel and worry about it, is extremely certain. Jesus taking up humanity, dying and coming back to life was not for a lost cause! This world will not last, Satan doesn't have the final say, Jesus made a way for us to live and to be with Him forever, that is the GREATEST news we will ever receive!

We forget this truth in the midst of our fears. Faith and life is not always easy and hey Jesus' life wasn't easy! But, where your focus is and what your attitude is, changes everything. If we're focusing on God, trusting that His will and timing are perfect, that fear is transformed to faith and our attitude is not one that is not giving up on the world but sees the hope and potential in people. 

One of my favorite Bible stories is Joseph. Joseph knew a thing or two about waiting - I often forget that Joseph's story doesn't take place in a couple of months. He was imprisoned for over 3 years and 15 years passed before he saw his dream come true. What has always stood out to me is Joseph's character while he was waiting for God's plan and blessings, he was: faithful, loving, kind and trusted God even though he had been sold into slavery and imprisoned for something he didn't do! In the end we see that God was preparing Joseph to become second in command of all Egypt through the many trials Joseph encountered.
God has done and will do great things with and through us, but, if we're focused on ourselves or caught up in fear, we will miss opportunities. God doesn't need us and honestly there are billions of other people He can use, and He will if we're not open and willing to His leading.

Waiting on God, trusting Him through this life is not always fun and easy, but where in the Bible was the promise that it would be?  

Matthew 10:22 "You will be hated by all because of My name" 

Luke 21:16-17 "But you will be betrayed even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death, and you will be hated by all because of My name." 

Acts 14:22 "Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God."

2 Timothy 3:12 "Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."

Philippians 1:29 "For to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake,

1 John 3:13 Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you.
Wow.... ok, didn't need that reminder Hope! Sorry! However, it's the truth but, the second half of that promise are found in some of the following:
Romans 5:3–4 "... but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good, to those who love God to those who are called according to His purpose"Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation[ has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted  beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."2 Corinthians 4:7–12 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you."1 Peter 4:12-13 "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed"

Revelation 2:10

'Do not fear what you are about to suffer....Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life"

It has been 4 months since I had surgery and flew back to Kansas. This is my first blog post this year and I do have to admit that my focus and attitude have not always been where and what they should be (I'm still human sorry; I know you're shocked) I've been frustrated, angry, worried and felt completely lost. I'm not healing as fast as I would like to be and I feel like a waste of space some days. However, I'm having more good health days then bad, I've had some fun times with a couple of friends and my family and God reminds me on a daily basis that our worth is not determined by our works and God rested on the 7th day and Jesus took time to rest and be rejuvenated. I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be and I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Waiting. 

Thankful Week 4

The end of the week is wrapping up! There is good and blessings in every day and certainly every week. We did have a lot of news that was hard, some tears escaped and it made for a long week.

I am thankful that Jesus walks beside us, holds everything in His hands and that I am a work in progress.

I struggle with different things about myself. A lot of things actually... self worth being one of the biggest ones and I'm very sensitive. I shared my testimony this summer and bawled the whole way through it. I know that I am not perfect, that I make mistakes and in the hard and weak points of my life these things become twisted as I dwell on them and become like chains that I wind and trap myself in; and all the while God is speaking to me and holding His hands out; just waiting for me hand them over. But it's hard, and though I want to hand them over it's a daily choice because somehow, if I don't continually hand things over to Him, I find myself wrapped back up in my chains of "worthlessness" once again. 

But you know something? God is pleased with me. I am His daughter and though I push myself and feel horrible when things don't turn out perfectly; He is pleased with me. With us, all of us! Because He knows our thoughts and our hearts. Things don't have to be perfect for God to love us or "notice" us; He loved us when we didn't even know Him, He loved us in all our mess. He LOVES us.

Wow. Just let that sink in.

We are His children and He is the perfect fathe, continually helping His children to learn and to grow from the dried and broken ground into a beautiful creation reaching for the Son.

There is a song by Brandon Heath called Wait and See and some of the lyrics are: 

the farther out I go

I've seen enough to know

That I'm not here for nothin'

He's up to somethin'

...

There is hope for me yet

Because God won't forget

All the plans He's made for me

I have to wait and see

He's not finished with me yet

Curveball #3

Curveball #1 Health issues sending me home early

Curveball #2 Staying home an extra month

Curveball #3? My largest monthly supporter needing to cut support by 82%

82%..... Wow, what a thing to wake up to.... but you know what? God loves a challenge and He loves stretching this ballerina further than she thinks she is flexible. And so I take a deep breath and begin to write you all this post with a heavy heart placed in His hand but knowing He will provide all I need.

If you are new to this blog and to my work in Haiti, let me give you a short and sweet summary: From January to September I lived and worked in Port-au-Prince, the capital of Haiti, a little island in the Caribbean. I worked with Maranatha Children's Ministries in their preschool program January through the beginning of June. I danced with Angelfeet Dance Studio in Kansas for 10 years, 3 of those years I taught dance classes. Hearing this, the directors of Maranatha asked me to come and start a dance program. How awesome is it that God took dance, something I loved and did, is using it on the mission field?! 

I began teaching 80 preschoolers dance in the front yard of the preschool. Their progress was amazing and my heart continued to just fill with love, hope and dreams for every single one of my students. Please follow this link to read about a precious little girl and her "dance story".  

Sadly, as we work to further God's kingdom here on earth, the devil works against us and so I was hit with the Chikungunya virus (follow link for more info) in May. Talking with one of my pastors, it was brought to my attention that it really wasn't a coincidence that the virus affects joints and therefore my dancing abilities and that the virus lasted far longer than it should have. Granted I was not resting and was trucking through it which did not help. But, spiritual warfare is real.

 Haiti is spiritually dark with the presence and ancient practice of voodoo everywhere. That is not to say that God is not moving and light is not penetrating that darkness. The Christian Haitians that I know are so incredibly passionate and just radiate this beautiful light in everything they do! But after working this past summer at Maranatha's English Camp, I needed to come home for healing as well as to raise support.

Not as short and sweet as I promised, but here is the continuing story:

Some of my supporters are no longer able to support me due to job loss, medical bills etc. and I'm so very grateful to them for supporting me as much and as long as they did. But this meant that my need for monthly support was much greater and then this morning I found out about the 82% cut from my primary supporter.

I'm going to be painfully honest with you guys. I now have a total of only 7 monthly supporters and their combined effort is less than $300. They are giving sacrificially and support other missionaries. I love them all and its hard for me to accept money when I know that they give out of their little but I also know that God will richly bless them and will view their giving out of their need as more than those that give from their abundance. Doubt it? Read Mark 12:41-44 for me ;)

I'm asking each of you to consider giving a monthly donation. As small or as large as you feel led to give. One time gifts are appreciated but monthly support is where I really need it. One way of looking at it is taking a larger gift and splitting it into 12 monthly donations.

I know that most, if not all of you, are probably already supporting the Lord's work in some way and are inundated with opportunities to give more. We live in a world FULL of need & I don't like asking for money. But if you could give just $10, $20, $30 - whatever the monthly amount, it WILL make a difference. God IS faithful. We just have to take that step and open our hands. We can hold more when our hands are open then when our fists are clenched. Try it with sand, water... anything. Take a fistful of anything and see how much you really have when you open your hand. Then scoop it up with an open hand over and see the difference. 

To those of you that have:

Listened to my stories, for sometimes hours

Hugged me

Cried with me

Prayed for me

Encouraged me

Bought me coffee, tea or a scone 

Laughed with me

Allowed me to take your senior or family pictures

Reminded me to take my pills, drink water or rest

Taken me dancing or to a movie

Sent money for a new laptop

Run 12 miles to raise support for me (you know who you are Miss Awesome Trenna)

And just been wonderful friends and family members...

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's not enough to express my gratitude but it is very heartfelt and honest. I've been touched by all of you and how greatly God has blessed me. If you have given, are giving (whether to me or other people), please SHARE this.

I cannot continue my work in Haiti without your support. Please pray and consider a monthly donation, however large or small it makes a difference. I am scheduled to leave for Haiti in just 12 days IF I have enough support to return.

You can go to mcmhaiti.org and donate with: support for HOPE RUEBKE in the memo. If my name is not on it it goes to the organization not to me.

OR

Send a check or have monthly withdrawals sent to:

MCM c/o Nichols Accounting

5680 E. Franklin, St. 110

Nampa, ID 83687

Thank you again and hopefully the next blog posts will be much happier ;) I have a song for everything in my life and as I was writing this, this song came on and please listen here