Waiting

*I will be writing another blog post at some point, detailing more of my health journey the past few months, but this was what was on my heart to share with you today.

The world is a scary place, it's always been but, as I'm growing older it seems especially daunting what with: the threat of ISIS, the presidential race, a horrible mass shooting 15min from my families homes, fires that have burned thousands of acres of farmland and homes, the attack on godly morals in the USA, the normality of broken families, the lack of true relationships and an uncertain future in this world that's going downhill fast... but wait, the future, however we may feel and worry about it, is extremely certain. Jesus taking up humanity, dying and coming back to life was not for a lost cause! This world will not last, Satan doesn't have the final say, Jesus made a way for us to live and to be with Him forever, that is the GREATEST news we will ever receive!

We forget this truth in the midst of our fears. Faith and life is not always easy and hey Jesus' life wasn't easy! But, where your focus is and what your attitude is, changes everything. If we're focusing on God, trusting that His will and timing are perfect, that fear is transformed to faith and our attitude is not one that is not giving up on the world but sees the hope and potential in people. 

One of my favorite Bible stories is Joseph. Joseph knew a thing or two about waiting - I often forget that Joseph's story doesn't take place in a couple of months. He was imprisoned for over 3 years and 15 years passed before he saw his dream come true. What has always stood out to me is Joseph's character while he was waiting for God's plan and blessings, he was: faithful, loving, kind and trusted God even though he had been sold into slavery and imprisoned for something he didn't do! In the end we see that God was preparing Joseph to become second in command of all Egypt through the many trials Joseph encountered.
God has done and will do great things with and through us, but, if we're focused on ourselves or caught up in fear, we will miss opportunities. God doesn't need us and honestly there are billions of other people He can use, and He will if we're not open and willing to His leading.

Waiting on God, trusting Him through this life is not always fun and easy, but where in the Bible was the promise that it would be?  

Matthew 10:22 "You will be hated by all because of My name" 

Luke 21:16-17 "But you will be betrayed even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death, and you will be hated by all because of My name." 

Acts 14:22 "Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God."

2 Timothy 3:12 "Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."

Philippians 1:29 "For to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake,

1 John 3:13 Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you.
Wow.... ok, didn't need that reminder Hope! Sorry! However, it's the truth but, the second half of that promise are found in some of the following:
Romans 5:3–4 "... but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good, to those who love God to those who are called according to His purpose"Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation[ has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted  beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."2 Corinthians 4:7–12 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you."1 Peter 4:12-13 "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed"

Revelation 2:10

'Do not fear what you are about to suffer....Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life"

It has been 4 months since I had surgery and flew back to Kansas. This is my first blog post this year and I do have to admit that my focus and attitude have not always been where and what they should be (I'm still human sorry; I know you're shocked) I've been frustrated, angry, worried and felt completely lost. I'm not healing as fast as I would like to be and I feel like a waste of space some days. However, I'm having more good health days then bad, I've had some fun times with a couple of friends and my family and God reminds me on a daily basis that our worth is not determined by our works and God rested on the 7th day and Jesus took time to rest and be rejuvenated. I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be and I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Waiting. 

Peace

Peace.

Such an interesting word. The world recognizes the famous "peace" symbol or hand sign, people pray for world peace and talk about it; but sadly most do not truly understand what peace truly is. Jesus is the Prince of Peace and His concept of peace is larger than "no fighting", it's from the Hebrew root slm, which means "to be complete" or "to be sound."

We as humans are not innately good or natural peacemakers. 

Think about, babies do not take care of themselves. Sleep is disturbed by cries from the crib, frustration arises when potty training comes around, our parents do not teach us to grab or steal toys from other children or to lie. It just sort of comes naturally. There is an emptiness inside of us, we long to be made whole and we try so hard doing SO many different things, thinking "maybe this will fill me" though we just continue to fall on our faces time and time again. Having a relationship with Jesus is what makes all the difference, there is that peace of knowing that no matter how many times you try and fail you are His and He is yours; nothing can separate you and in Him you are made complete.

It's hard to comprehend I know, but that doesn't make it any less true.

His peace and love are something that I have really been digging deeper into and figuring out the past few years. Growing up I saw God as a taskmaster and if I did one thing wrong I was going to hell. But God is love and He is peace and I have never felt such love and peace as I have while living and growing in Haiti.

4 days ago I was told that starting in January my churches financial monthly support was going to decrease, while they still supported me and my work in Haiti 100% monthly support would be less. This in fact, though scary to wake up to, was an answer to a prayer someone prayed over me the beginning of October. This may seem horrible but let me explain:

Being a missionary is not easy, here are a few reasons why (I'm using overseas as an e.g):

You will be taken out of your comfort zone; sometimes multiple times a day

Learning a new language is important to communicate with the people you live and work with

You'll move away from friends and loved ones (thank you skype but hugs are not the same)

Your job doesn't pay in money and you need to eat

Goodbye comfort foods

Asking people to support you

The devil will be working extra hard against you and your efforts

Being a missionary does not make you anymore perfect than anyone else. You are not immediately transformed, when you move overseas, into a person with endless: love, patience, joy etc. I wish it did! But no, you're still the same person you were boarding the plane as you are getting off. You still have those quirks and habits you want to kick, you may even be terrified out of your mind... but following Him where he leads and having the support of friends, family and even strangers back home is what keeps you going on those really horrible days when nothing is working and you just want to quit.

Supporting someone means that you come along side them, that they can stand and know that they will not sink or fall. It means praying for them, encouraging them in countless ways, easing their financial burden, it's giving them peace, making them feel complete, ready to do the work that God has given them to do. I only had eight monthly supporters in January and my church was a huge monthly supporter. But, it's crucial for any missionary to have a group, even a crowd of supporters. And my wonderful friend saw this and prayed that more people would come along side me and I would see just how supported and loved I was.

My church has seen this caterpillar through it's first year but it's time that this caterpillar turns into a butterfly and they make room for more supporters in order for this transformation to happen, while they continue supporting me, but not as big financially. I'm blessed. Truly I am and I have this sense of peace as my last week stateside starts tomorrow. God has this all in His hands I am now 1/2 way to being fully supported and with one time donations I'm headed back!!!

I still need monthly supporters but I know God will provide and so if you feel led to make 12 donations in the next 12 months, size does not matter. Promise.

You can go to mcmhaiti.org and donate with: support for HOPE RUEBKE in the memo. If my name is not on it it goes to the organization not to me.

OR

Send a check or have monthly withdrawals sent to:

MCM c/o Nichols Accounting

5680 E. Franklin, St. 110

Nampa, ID 83687

Thank you again for everything you guys do, no act of love or kindness is too small. May God richly bless every single one of you!

Rest Easy

"You better rest while you're there" she said giving me a big hug as I said goodbye the night before I headed home. She said this sternly but with all the love in the world and I felt it. On the one side I didn't want to go home, I knew there were things to be done and by the time I returned we were hoping that over half of the kids in the children's home would be with their forever families and I would miss meeting their families and saying goodbye and what if school started?! I was so tempted to change my flight so I could meet one of the parents that was flying in the day I left and we would miss each other by a couple hours. I struggled with this but I felt His hand on me telling me that I needed to go home now for a short time so that I could stay for a longer time. And so I boarded the plane with half my heart left in Haiti but knowing this was His plan and having my mind set to enjoy my time and to rest so I could come back.

Part of resting meant: healing and healing meant: medicine and medicine meant: a trip to the doctors office.  So, I went to our family Dr. to get some blood work done... my favorite. I don't like hospitals or doctors offices, if I'm being completely honest, the thought of them makes me nauseous and having to spend any time in them just doesn't sit well with me. It's not like I've had horrible experiences or anything... it's kind of like peoples fear for the dentist. I've never been afraid of the dentist but doctors is another story. However, my mom and I walked in with the comfort of a warm starbucks in hand and took a seat. It was not a good C-virus day and me not wanting to be there didn't help with anything either. When our doctor came in and began talking, her words were "... she looks like she went through some rough stuff, the light thats normally in her eyes isn't, it isn't there and that worries me." it took me back hearing this; was it really that noticeable or that bad?! Yes, I felt bad but it wasn't... that bad surely!

I told her that I was only staying a month and she began talking to me about how she felt it would be wise to take another month off, how the poor will always be with us, that going back at 50% I will decrease faster than if I waited to go back till I was 100%, she continued talking about how Jesus rested and it took everything not to start bawling as she spoke these words to me. I knew she was speaking truth but I didn't want to believe it. Yes, I wasn't as 100% but it wasn't that bad and I would be ready to go in a month.

But when the test results came back and my thyroid levels were not where they should be my dr put me on medicine that would last 4 weeks and I would need to be checked once the medicine was gone to make sure the dosage was right; my flight was scheduled to leave in two weeks.

I choked up as I spoke in front of my church; when my Pastor asked me to tell them why I wanted to go back and how Haiti had captured my heart.

I started to cry as I put together a powerpoint to show at a fundraiser dinner I had and I put off writing a speech till a couple days before. My heart ached as all the sweet little faces popped up one right after the other, their little voices calling my head and I wanted nothing more than to be there with them. I wrote a speech, knowing that I would just cry if I didn't have a something set (though I didn't follow it to the letter) and it would be a good distraction.

I was not happy. I was angry.

Not angry at God, my doctor, family, friends or even complete strangers; though I think they all might have felt that I was and an angry outburst or two probably didn't help with their feelings but I was angry with myself. All the stress,  culture shock, worries and aches bubbled over and were misdirected.

And so I basically ran, ran away from it all to find myself sobbing to a dear friend on a mission campus in Oklahoma City and that's where He found me and I found.... me.

There are 2 things I've done for as long as I can remember:
     #1. Pushed myself through things. Thinking "it's not that bad" and "I can do this!" or the fact that "there are other people worse off than I am and doing way more things than I am"
     #2. Beat myself up when I mess something up no matter how little it is.

One of my best friends taught me a long time ago that there are always 2 perspectives: yours and the other persons and that I should to try and look through both perspectives and then apply to God's word before doing anything rash. Well tried to teach me would be a better description as I usually ended up just kicking myself about it.

I've believed a lot of lies about myself growing up. Not necessarily lies that people fed or told me but ones that I gathered or took the wrong way. And these weighed on me; I thought and saw the best in people but the worst in myself.

But, God has helped me begin to untangle this web, piece by piece through: His word and countless people showing and telling me that taking care of myself is not selfish and is critical when you're working in and for God's Kingdom (which should be wherever you are in life)

I never saw myself as enough or believed that I was enough. I knew what God said, I knew that without Him we aren't enough, I knew I had Him, I knew other people were enough but for some reason I was excluded in my head. I encouraged and built other people up but tore myself down. Have you ever been told to "drink your own medicine" or to "listen to your own advice" or something along those lines? Well; I needed to be told that and God gave me four incredible friends in Haiti, the wonderful mom of my Haiti family and the house mama of the childrens home to tell and show me that I was a precious in God's eyes. Each in their own way sat me down and spoke truth into me and I cannot thank them all enough but I do say a very heartfelt thank you to: My Haiti mamas, good cop, bad cop, captain awesome and my canadian "mother" for everything they have said and done for me.

I'm still a work in progress. I'm still needing healing and rest (and I still feel like a lazy lump) but little by little I'm understanding more and being changed a little more to the beautiful masterpiece that He created me to be.

There was a song that I took to Haiti and I forgot about during the summer. Music has always played a big role in my life through dance, playing instruments and singing. And this song I feel God speaking to me and it is written by one of my favorite singer/songwriters: Andrew Peterson. The chorus is:

You don't have to work so hard
You can rest easy
You don’t have to prove yourself
You’re already mine
You don’t have to hide your heart
I already love you
I hold it in mine
So you can rest easy

God says this about each and every single one of us. I write this with not only myself in mind but several missionary families and people that I know are breaking their backs and feeling beaten and lost. It's ok to rest in His arms for as long as it takes. 

He loves you.
He delights in you.
He sings over you! 

Yes! Isn't that such a comforting thought?! In the end it's you and Him not everyone you've ever met judging you, but you're loving Savior. If you need to rest then rest and rest easy however hard it may be or seem God wants you to rest and be at the fullest of your abilities. So together lets rest easy in Him though we see the work ahead and yearn to do it; rest because He knows your heart and has seen your work and is not judging or angry with you. This is not a punishment; but a gift.

Home On the Range

What?! You're not in Haiti?! Suprise! Don't worry; I am going back, but here's a little glimpse into the past month stateside.

I left my the "island in the sun" the beginning of September to spend a couple days with my best friend and her husband in Florida. I was not able to attend their wedding in July as english camp was in full swing, but it was wonderful to spend a couple days with them and hear about it and spend time with them. I'm very thankful for them and all the hospitality and love they showed me by: driving 2 hours away to pick me up, giving me their comfy mattress to sleep on, 2 warm blankets (as I was freezing!) delicious food, a day at the beach, laughs and rest. They wouldn't let me do anything and this bothered me because I do like helping and cleaning; especially if I am a guest, but my best friend is also my "twin" and she can be just as stubborn as I can be and so I rested and slept and had a lovely time.

After that I flew to my home on the range; the same night as my brothers surprise birthday party! My dad picked me up from the airport, I ducked down in the car as we pulled into the garage, quickly changed into a party dress and made my way through the back of the house and into the kitchen. My mom had it all worked out and had me sit on a little scooter while she and dad (who were the only ones who knew about my homecoming) placed a huge cardboard box over the top and pushed me into the dining room. Jonathan began tearing off the wrapping paper and as light began to pour into the box I popped out and wrapped my arms around his neck shouting "Happy Birthday!" and kind of falling into him because the scooter slid, but no matter. I found out later he thought he was getting a puppy thus his stunned and interesting facial expression ;)

My brother and I are a little over a year apart. Growing up we weren't always the best of friends as he was the first boy and I was the fifth girl. But, we had some pretty fun times growing up, being the best of friends at times and the biggest enemies at other times, but he is my brother and I love him to pieces no matter what! I was really set back when I realized I wouldn't be there to take his senior pictures or be at his graduation; but that's part of being on the mission field and I was ecstatic that I got to be there for his birthday.

I planned to stay in the States till the beginning of October when preschool would start in Haiti. During this month I'd been giving very strict and loving instructions from my mamas in Haiti to rest and have fun. First part of resting was figuring out how to treat the C-Virus, we talked to our dear friend Dr. Joel Robbins, a natural health specialist in Tulsa who is truly an amazing person,  he has changed countless lives and I could go on and on, but do go to his website and take a look around. He put me on some supplements to start building... well, me back up.

Next was a visit to our family Dr. to get some blood work done... my favorite. This is a long story, and I will be writing another blog post on this visit, but the short of it is that my doctor was worried about a month in the States not being enough. She knew how much I wanted to get back and so we did the blood work and waited the results. They came back and my thyroid was not looking good. My doctor put me on medicine and said that she would have to see me in 4 weeks to check the dosage.... goodbye going to my Haiti home the first week of October.

I was crushed by this and when I found out that the government had decided to start school in September after all and I was missing the beginning of school I was not a happy camper... not one bit. But through different things, which I will write about in another post, God gave me peace about staying another month and so I changed my flight to the 28th of October.

During my time here I've been blessed to spend time with family (everyones so grown up) see friends, tell my stories about Haiti, photograph some families and seniors, rest, laugh and meet some new friends. I thank you all for your support it's been really amazing to see the people that have come through for me and supported me though they are going through some hard times.

God has blessed me SO much and I can't say thank you enough! I will be here till the 28th for those of you that I've not been able to connect with yet, message or call me and we'll try to work something out.

May God richly bless you all!

Beauty

"Haiti really is beautiful"

This thought crossed my mind as I sat on the balcony of the children's home in village Theodat, I watched the warm breeze play with the long palm branches and make my mouth water as it brought the delicious aroma of freshly baked bread from the bakery.

Yes, there are some not so pretty and even revolting things that can be found and seen in the streets or behind closed doors but, if you turn your focus upward; instead of seeing piles of garbage along the streets and dirty, grimy water flowing in the rivers and down the gutters of some streets; you'll see the beautiful and colorful vines of the bougainvillea flower, blossoming away, their vines reaching out as if to lift your chin up. Showing you beautiful people laughing, bargaining and chatting away, little girls their hair decked out in ribbons and clips all to happy to wave hello and smile back at you. Little boys who've set up goals and play soccer wherever they can, delicious fruit that will tickle your taste buds and a Caribbean blue ocean that surrounds this beautiful island, sending curling white waves into the shore to wash away what it can.

Beauty is everywhere if we would only look for it. The master of lies likes to slip into out heads and fill out minds; disgust rolls in as a sticky smell rises from the garbage sweating in the sun, dark clouds of anger roll in as questions race and smash into the walls of your brain. But, then the clouds burst as the rain slips down your cheeks when you see a tiny child digging through it to find...something; whether it's something to: eat, wear or sell you don't know but you're anger is replaced with a prayer on your lips and passion burning in your heart. Dwelling on rotten and disgusting things is not healthy. I do mean that in a literal and none literal sense.

Dwelling on a mistake, reopening old wounds, holding grudges, seeing the rust and mold, pushing people down destroys not only you but the people around you. I'm not a perfect person but God has taught me so much since I rededicated my life to Him my sophomore year. Two years ago I would have seen the garbage on the streets and whined to myself "People are so lazy, why don't they just throw it where it belongs?! Is it really that hard?!" I would have watched that car speed by me or cut me off and yell "What the heck buddy?! Gah, some people! Really?!" or seen someone on the street and immediately "know" everything about them from their appearance and manners and judge them.

I'm not proud of this fact.

I honestly don't want to share this; but God's been pressing on my heart about this and though I find myself erasing things God writes them write back down, so here this is. Unedited.

God showed me my ugliness, that as I thought these horrible and rotten things I was becoming as rotten as my thoughts. A wonderful women in my life was praying for me and she encouraged me to be praying all the time and looking for God in everything.

And so the next time that car sped by me I began to think about the person driving in the car as an actual person and I heard this voice telling me "You don't know them, you don't know their story or where they're headed." and all these thoughts of where that person could be heading (hospital to see someone for the last time, late to the job they so desperately needed to keep their family going) and my heart began to ache for them and I found myself praying this prayer:

"Father God, I don't know that person or where they're headed but God I pray you would bless them, that they would get to wherever they are going safe and God if they don't know You I pray that you would draw them close to You and they would come to a saving knowledge of You and be a huge asset to You're kingdom and Father if they do know you help them to shine You're light in everything they do. In You're name amen"

And almost instantly my anger or frustration evaporated and a peace and love washed over me. This became my daily routine as I drove to work and this happened frequently, I actually looked forward to it! And then God started convicting me of judging people and pushed me to talk to them and find out their story and why they were the way they were and to pray for them as well and wow.... I wish I could travel the whole world and meet every single person and write their stories down and capture a picture of them, a beautiful none posed real picture of them and put it in a book so everyone could knew and see how beautiful our stories are. God has such an imagination and is just incredible... it blows my mind!

All this to say, focus on the good. When words of anger or frustration try to make their way out exchange them for His words. Instead of looking/noticing the bad watch for the good. I still fall into bad habits and God lovingly steers me back. I want to just share His work in myself and the lessons He has taught me. Though I'm still learning. I want everyone to see the beauty He has created in the world and in each of us and it's hard to do that when the stench of garbage waters your eyes and blurs your vision or when you're gaze has been cast down too many times to even try and look up.

Haiti is sometimes called "the crotch of the world" but I prefer to think of it as "God's clay island" because I know He is shaping it, into something beautiful and it will be put through the kiln again and again until it's colors burn bright and His love and handiwork are perfect. This is the Haiti I know; this is the world I know! Constantly being molded and fired over and over. God's kingdom is here, right now, in absolutely everything we do! 

Don't give up hope; the trash may be waste deep but the flowers touch the sky so keep your eyes on the beauty He created for you and continue learning, working and praying as change happens one prayer, one act and one person at a time.

A Passionate Big Brother

She's the smallest two year old girl at the preschool. Almost weightless in her little 24 month yellow dress he was the first to see her as she arrives, a little late to breakfast. He calls her by name wishing her good morning and asking her how she is, she doesn't respond but he smiles and holds her close anyway telling both her and her sister how happy he is that they came to school today.
Setting her down on the wooden benches that surround the table he provides them both with extra food and continues helping children wash their hands and mouths before morning assembly.
He finds her though, after most of the children have gone inside, sitting alone with a plate that has hardly been touched. He pulls the tiny little two year old closer on his lap, with one hand he strokes her head gently and in the other he holds a small piece of banana bread, the chocolate beginning to melt and stick to his fingers as he tries to persuade her to eat. He gently lifts it up to her little mouth for what seems like the hundredth time, but she turns away at the last second. Shoulders slump as the breath he didn't know he was holding is released in a heavy sigh.
He's spent countless mornings trying to get her to eat. You can see his mind wrestling, whether to try again or let the tiny doll down to go sing. He bends his head to kiss hers and rests his cheek on her head. His silent prayer is seen by the watching eyes and he switches the banana bread for the glass of milk "Please drink" his request is so heartfelt that even the two year old understands and she leans forward to drink from the cup in his hand. "Good job Regina! Thank you!"He praises her rubbing her back, the smile on his face is one of pure joy. No pride or conceited thoughts, he knows it was all God and he feels blessed to have been a part of it. She finishes the milk and after one more kiss on her forehead he lowers her to the ground, he can't see the smile she hides as she toddles out to have her hands washed. She knows he loves her and has her best interests at heart and she loves her American brother back.

I had the great honor of working beside a truly wonderful friend for the past 51/2 months. Arriving in Haiti before he returned from Christmas break, I did my best to soak in everything I could. I'd come to Haiti not really knowing what to expect or what God's plan was and watching these children and trying to wrap my head around teaching them dance, uncertainty was settling in after just a couple weeks and I was wondering what God's plan was. And then my fellow intern James arrived. I didn't know what to expect when he came, the teachers were all really excited to have him back and I quickly saw why.

Monday morning James began calling each of the children by name as they arrived for preschool, each one had their own special relationship with him, running into his arms, shyly smiling as they walked over and hugged his leg or giving him a "I'm not going to say good morning smirk: and then running away as their plan worked and their big blo brother chased after them tickling them until a good morning came from their lips. They all adored him! His passion and love of the kids showed in everything he did.

James taught games, relays, body part songs, bikes and exercises around the pool and told the Bible story at the end of the day. His passion for the children that he served was inspiring as he tried different ways to keep the kids interested and push them a little farther every day. The preschoolers couldn't help but be inspired by the overflow of love and passion from their big brother, friend and teacher. Dozens of little eyes watched his every move and as he helped kids finish eating, make sure they got to the bathroom, comforted kids that fell and respected everyone. Slowly you could see the older boys taking after him in little ways, helping to carry benches, fighting less, carrying little kids to the bathroom etc

At the end of the day, cutting up things for dinner or playing cards afterwards we talked about highs and lows from that day. His highs were always about how far different kids had come whether they were speaking more, smiling more, running better and faster or participating more; his face just lit up talking about the kids and their achievements.

God wants the absolute best for us and He pours out love every single day and fills us with passion. God is with us all the time and sometimes its hard to see that; but the preschoolers and I saw Him shining through our brother James as he: cheered them on during bike races or relays, when he made things a little harder and then stood by their side encouraging as they did their best, when they disobeyed and he gave them consequences for their actions, they all knew it was all for the greater good. They saw the pain and disappointment on his face whenever one of them had to go stand alone and they wanted to make it up to him.

When we have bad attitudes or sores that need to be cleaned God seeks us out to love on us and to help us work and clean those things out of our lives. He's the best father, teacher and friend we could ask for; but, there are some pretty amazing shining examples and I know God's face is shining with pride when He see's our passionate brother James and the love he poured on all of his little Haitian siblings.

Graduation Day at the Preschool

How did it come so quickly? There were things I wanted to say, things I wanted to do with the kids but time seemed to be running away from me no matter how hard I tried to grasp it there just wasn't enough time in the days leading up to graduation.

But graduation day came nonetheless, woke up early knowing there was a lot to get done before the kids arrived at 8 for breakfast and the ceremony started at 10:30. We all dressed up for the occasion and my family had sent me a new dress that was perfect for dancing with the kids. Claire, my closest friend here in Haiti braided my hair into a beautiful bun, slipped on some shoes (I normally run around barefoot but since it was a special occasion I wore sandals) and headed downstairs to see where a helping hand was needed.

Shelley had put together little gift bags for each of the children and so Claire, Mikayla and I punched holes in the tops and threaded string through to tie into bows. James, my fellow intern and best friend for the past 5 months, began putting up a tarp to shade the parents while they watched the preschools perform with the help of Haitian James and the boys: Jeff, Patrick and Emmanuel. Once the bags were done the children started arriving for breakfast! They were SO adorable! They were all dressed in their best clothes, which for some meant tuled, frilly dresses or a skirt and nice shirt. The boys all wore nice pants and shirts and one of the oldest boys even had a white buttoned up shirt! As I came to breakfast to greet them they began shouting "Hope! Hope! Ou bel!" (You're beautiful) they all ran the sheer fabric through their fingers smiling and admiring and I did the same telling them how beautiful each one looked, commenting on each little thing as I knew it meant a lot to them.

After breakfast and assembly Shelley and I placed duct tape to mark each of the children's spots and began leading the classes one at a time in and placing them in "their spot." One of the teachers little two year olds was "trying" to be helpful. I scooped him and bounced him on my hip as I helped direct and place children as well as greet the children that were arriving late. We ran through their program one time, there wasn't enough time to go through the dances but the kids knew their dances and I knew they'd perform better if they didn't run through it. Sounds weird I know but go with me on this. The little rehearsal went really well and the children went back inside for a snack, some water and storytime while their parents arrived.

I don't have a whole lot of interaction with the parents during Preschool. There are a couple parents that I know but only a handful so it was fun to see all the parents, also dressed in their best, arriving and looking just as excited as the kids.

At last it was time to begin!

The classes were lined up youngest to oldest with the oldest in the back. Estacey one of our wonderful teachers led them in singing This is the Day in both english and kreyol.  The 2's then recited their Bible verse: Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." in Kreyol, French and English. They'd been struggling with it the past week but at graduation the majority said it and then they all yelled "Right!" at the end, it was adorable! To finish their little part in the program we did a little dance called Cat and Mouse that the children absolutely love! I'd chosen 4 of the little 2's to be Cats.

In this dance, that my dance teacher in KS choreographed a long time ago, the cat in the dance is asleep in the middle of the dance floor, the rest of the dancers are mice that want to play with the cat and they tiptoe and dance quietly around the cat until it’s time to wake the cat up. They tap the cat three times and then ask the cat to play with them. The first time the cat is grumpy and tells them no and they run away crying (kids favorite part) but the mice try again and the second time the cat says yes! They hold hands and walk around in a circle and then after they’ve “played all day” they’re all tired, so they stretch and then lay down like the cat and go to sleep.

All the 2’s participated and danced, the cat’s stayed asleep and talked loud and I couldn’t have been happier or prouder of them!

Once the 2’s that had parents at graduation were given a gift and sent to sit with their parents while the others sat in a group and waited patiently for their parents to arrive.

Next came the 3’s & 4’s! They recited John 11:40 in Kreyol, French and English. I’d led their group the previous day during PE and had them practice their verse, I knew part of it in Kreyol and French and so I started it for them and much to my amazement they knew all of it by themselves! This group has so much energy and usually are just crazy so it was very encouraging to see how much they’d grown through out the year as they stood in a straight line and recited their Bible verse perfectly and then sang their song, “Into My Heart” in both French and English with the hand motions that Estacey had taught them!

Their dance was high energy, lots of jumping in place, step claps, going fast and then slow and spinning and freezing in a position to end. They all had the biggest smiles on their faces as they ran out to their spots and you could see the pride shining off their faces as they did the dance they’ve memorized and worked hard to learn. I’m probably going to say this with every class, but, it’s the truth. SUPER PROUD OF THEM!

The oldest class was last; they recited John 3:16, hearing their voices I prayed and hoped that each one of them truly understood what this verse mean’s and that they would come to accept God’s gift very soon. Their song was “Rejoice”, throughout the previous week we would hear the girls start singing their song as they rode on trikes or colored pictures, their sweet little voices would be lifted up to Jesus, led by the oldest girl Hosperlinda and her sister and you couldn’t help but smile and sing along. Watching them singing this and how excited a handful of them were it was like God was showing me his disciples for Haiti, I have no doubt that God has huge plans for each and everyone of these kids and it’s my prayer that they all come to know Christ at an early age and impact Haiti for Christ.

Time to dance!

I’d split the boys and the girls up as there is a greater number of girls than boys. The boys went first dancing a partner dance to “Speak Life” by: TobyMac. Two of the boys had been having a “rough” week, I think they were just anxious for school to be over and therefore could not stand still for a second or obey for longer then a minute. As I placed them in their spots I took their faces in my hands and said “Do a good job for me, ok? You’re smart, funny, strong, good boys and you can do this well for your parents, right?” sheepish grins spread over their faces as they nodded and then it was time! All the boys did the dance perfectly with huge smiles on their faces! And when I had them jump over the river near the end of the dance all the parents were cheering for them, which just blessed me and the kids in ways only God knows.

My girls were last. They’d worked so hard and picked up things so fast that I choreographed their own dance to 10,000 Reasons by: Rend Collective, which everyone in Haiti knows and loves! I gave the girls hand motions but I think it was more for my benefit, to keep my hands busy and not cry rather then for the girls. They did such a beautiful job. I will write more about it later, my heart is so full and God’s working in some pretty awesome ways.

Everyone cheered and clapped for the kids and then Byron, with the help of James translating, talked to the parents about Maranatha’s mission and Bryon and Shelley’s hearts for the children of Haiti. After a prayer we handed out Kool-Aid, hotdogs and cookies. It was fun to see the parents interacting with their kids and just everyone smiling and enjoying the day. I tried not to think about the kids leaving and not coming to school on Monday. The red Kool-Aid dyed their lips so they all looked like they were wearing lipstick and we were all cracking up, which kept the tears at bay.

Several of the kids came running up to me, thanking me and wanting a picture with me and I with them. These kids are all so precious and dear to me, their stories break my heart but their smiles and strength give me energy and remind me of the hope we have in Jesus and that we walk by faith not by sight or circumstance. I’ve been so blessed to serve and love on each and every one of the 80 kids that attended Maranatha’s Preschool; God is doing awesome things here in Haiti and I’m so honored to play a small role in it.

Continued prayer for these children and for English Camp as it’s coming up next week!!! Hopefully I’ll be able to slip in some stories and updates in the crazy days ahead

See my photography page on facebook for photos of gradutaion: H.e.rphotography94