Graduation Day at the Preschool

How did it come so quickly? There were things I wanted to say, things I wanted to do with the kids but time seemed to be running away from me no matter how hard I tried to grasp it there just wasn't enough time in the days leading up to graduation.

But graduation day came nonetheless, woke up early knowing there was a lot to get done before the kids arrived at 8 for breakfast and the ceremony started at 10:30. We all dressed up for the occasion and my family had sent me a new dress that was perfect for dancing with the kids. Claire, my closest friend here in Haiti braided my hair into a beautiful bun, slipped on some shoes (I normally run around barefoot but since it was a special occasion I wore sandals) and headed downstairs to see where a helping hand was needed.

Shelley had put together little gift bags for each of the children and so Claire, Mikayla and I punched holes in the tops and threaded string through to tie into bows. James, my fellow intern and best friend for the past 5 months, began putting up a tarp to shade the parents while they watched the preschools perform with the help of Haitian James and the boys: Jeff, Patrick and Emmanuel. Once the bags were done the children started arriving for breakfast! They were SO adorable! They were all dressed in their best clothes, which for some meant tuled, frilly dresses or a skirt and nice shirt. The boys all wore nice pants and shirts and one of the oldest boys even had a white buttoned up shirt! As I came to breakfast to greet them they began shouting "Hope! Hope! Ou bel!" (You're beautiful) they all ran the sheer fabric through their fingers smiling and admiring and I did the same telling them how beautiful each one looked, commenting on each little thing as I knew it meant a lot to them.

After breakfast and assembly Shelley and I placed duct tape to mark each of the children's spots and began leading the classes one at a time in and placing them in "their spot." One of the teachers little two year olds was "trying" to be helpful. I scooped him and bounced him on my hip as I helped direct and place children as well as greet the children that were arriving late. We ran through their program one time, there wasn't enough time to go through the dances but the kids knew their dances and I knew they'd perform better if they didn't run through it. Sounds weird I know but go with me on this. The little rehearsal went really well and the children went back inside for a snack, some water and storytime while their parents arrived.

I don't have a whole lot of interaction with the parents during Preschool. There are a couple parents that I know but only a handful so it was fun to see all the parents, also dressed in their best, arriving and looking just as excited as the kids.

At last it was time to begin!

The classes were lined up youngest to oldest with the oldest in the back. Estacey one of our wonderful teachers led them in singing This is the Day in both english and kreyol.  The 2's then recited their Bible verse: Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." in Kreyol, French and English. They'd been struggling with it the past week but at graduation the majority said it and then they all yelled "Right!" at the end, it was adorable! To finish their little part in the program we did a little dance called Cat and Mouse that the children absolutely love! I'd chosen 4 of the little 2's to be Cats.

In this dance, that my dance teacher in KS choreographed a long time ago, the cat in the dance is asleep in the middle of the dance floor, the rest of the dancers are mice that want to play with the cat and they tiptoe and dance quietly around the cat until it’s time to wake the cat up. They tap the cat three times and then ask the cat to play with them. The first time the cat is grumpy and tells them no and they run away crying (kids favorite part) but the mice try again and the second time the cat says yes! They hold hands and walk around in a circle and then after they’ve “played all day” they’re all tired, so they stretch and then lay down like the cat and go to sleep.

All the 2’s participated and danced, the cat’s stayed asleep and talked loud and I couldn’t have been happier or prouder of them!

Once the 2’s that had parents at graduation were given a gift and sent to sit with their parents while the others sat in a group and waited patiently for their parents to arrive.

Next came the 3’s & 4’s! They recited John 11:40 in Kreyol, French and English. I’d led their group the previous day during PE and had them practice their verse, I knew part of it in Kreyol and French and so I started it for them and much to my amazement they knew all of it by themselves! This group has so much energy and usually are just crazy so it was very encouraging to see how much they’d grown through out the year as they stood in a straight line and recited their Bible verse perfectly and then sang their song, “Into My Heart” in both French and English with the hand motions that Estacey had taught them!

Their dance was high energy, lots of jumping in place, step claps, going fast and then slow and spinning and freezing in a position to end. They all had the biggest smiles on their faces as they ran out to their spots and you could see the pride shining off their faces as they did the dance they’ve memorized and worked hard to learn. I’m probably going to say this with every class, but, it’s the truth. SUPER PROUD OF THEM!

The oldest class was last; they recited John 3:16, hearing their voices I prayed and hoped that each one of them truly understood what this verse mean’s and that they would come to accept God’s gift very soon. Their song was “Rejoice”, throughout the previous week we would hear the girls start singing their song as they rode on trikes or colored pictures, their sweet little voices would be lifted up to Jesus, led by the oldest girl Hosperlinda and her sister and you couldn’t help but smile and sing along. Watching them singing this and how excited a handful of them were it was like God was showing me his disciples for Haiti, I have no doubt that God has huge plans for each and everyone of these kids and it’s my prayer that they all come to know Christ at an early age and impact Haiti for Christ.

Time to dance!

I’d split the boys and the girls up as there is a greater number of girls than boys. The boys went first dancing a partner dance to “Speak Life” by: TobyMac. Two of the boys had been having a “rough” week, I think they were just anxious for school to be over and therefore could not stand still for a second or obey for longer then a minute. As I placed them in their spots I took their faces in my hands and said “Do a good job for me, ok? You’re smart, funny, strong, good boys and you can do this well for your parents, right?” sheepish grins spread over their faces as they nodded and then it was time! All the boys did the dance perfectly with huge smiles on their faces! And when I had them jump over the river near the end of the dance all the parents were cheering for them, which just blessed me and the kids in ways only God knows.

My girls were last. They’d worked so hard and picked up things so fast that I choreographed their own dance to 10,000 Reasons by: Rend Collective, which everyone in Haiti knows and loves! I gave the girls hand motions but I think it was more for my benefit, to keep my hands busy and not cry rather then for the girls. They did such a beautiful job. I will write more about it later, my heart is so full and God’s working in some pretty awesome ways.

Everyone cheered and clapped for the kids and then Byron, with the help of James translating, talked to the parents about Maranatha’s mission and Bryon and Shelley’s hearts for the children of Haiti. After a prayer we handed out Kool-Aid, hotdogs and cookies. It was fun to see the parents interacting with their kids and just everyone smiling and enjoying the day. I tried not to think about the kids leaving and not coming to school on Monday. The red Kool-Aid dyed their lips so they all looked like they were wearing lipstick and we were all cracking up, which kept the tears at bay.

Several of the kids came running up to me, thanking me and wanting a picture with me and I with them. These kids are all so precious and dear to me, their stories break my heart but their smiles and strength give me energy and remind me of the hope we have in Jesus and that we walk by faith not by sight or circumstance. I’ve been so blessed to serve and love on each and every one of the 80 kids that attended Maranatha’s Preschool; God is doing awesome things here in Haiti and I’m so honored to play a small role in it.

Continued prayer for these children and for English Camp as it’s coming up next week!!! Hopefully I’ll be able to slip in some stories and updates in the crazy days ahead

See my photography page on facebook for photos of gradutaion: H.e.rphotography94

Through My Eyes

I thought I'd take you on a journey and give you a peek into one of many exciting days of preschool here at Maranatha Children's Ministries in Haiti.

Woke up after one of the best nights sleep I've had in a very long time thanks to Malaria; the wind was playing with the leaves of the mango and palm tree right outside my window and I hoped for a little bit of a cooler today. Looking at the clock it read 7:22 and I have a meeting to do at 7:30, yikes! Jumped out of bed slipped on the dusty, white tile, let out a little yelp as I fell on my face, popped back up and quickly got ready for the day.

What kind of day lay ahead of me with such an exciting beginning?

Every day we have a schedule and for the most part we stick to it, though with weather and sickness things do tend to get shifted around. Racing out of my room finishing my braid I found on top of the box where we keep the sheets for the schedules a note saying that my fellow intern and good friend James had already put together the schedule, "Mesi anpil James!" Headed out to the meeting with 2 minutes to spare!

Morning meetings are under the big gazebo. All of the staff attends the meeting, they start by singing a hymn and than we do devotions before going through the schedule for the day. But something was off this morning, it was 7:35 and no one was at the table except for James and I... James went to get them but only 7 people came to morning meeting out of the usual 12 and out of the 7 there were only 4 people who work with the children 2 teachers and then James and me. I have to admit I freaked out a little.

"Does anyone know where... anyone is?"

We pieced together that 2 people were sick but the rest we had no idea. There had been a Tap Tap (public transportation) strike a few weeks ago and I wondered if it was happening again. "Guess we're going to be teaching the 2's class today James" I said laughing. Something Haiti has taught me is to laugh in the good times and the hard times because it's easy to be discouraged and sometimes you just have to let go and laugh as you think "What on earth just happened."

As they finished singing Mama Erta arrived just in time to do devotions! James and I were pretty relieved we weren't teaching but I told Erta I would be her helper for the day as 32 little 2 year-olds is a little much for one set of hands. We tweaked the schedule, prayed together and were off to get things ready.

Right before the children arrived one of the helpers for the 2's arrived! I wrapped her in a huge hug and told her I was super excited to see her, even more so because we were so short staffed! She was shocked when I told her everyone that was missing and she told me that she wasn't feeling good but she knew that she needed to come today and now she knew why!

8:00am time to greet the children!

Running, walking or toddling through the black gate, giving one last glance at their mother or father, a whimper perhaps to show that they weren't too excited to be going to school and then their eyes land on you and a smile, sometimes a shriek as they call your name and come running to your arms or just running to you and hugging your leg as sometimes you already have two kids on each hip and one clinging to your back. Shouts erupt from all over the yard and teachers and my fellow intern greet kids by name. 

Soon the call for clean up is made and we all head to breakfast, holding one or two kids while leading the rest behind. The oldest children sit at the table under the huge gazebo while the younger children sit at two more tables that are set up in the preschool room. As backpacks that weren't taken off before coming to breakfast are gathered children close their eyes and fold their hands while a teacher prays than breakfast is served! Emanie makes breakfast every morning and it changes between oatmeal with raisins to banana bread & hard boiled eggs.

I help pass out plates and cups of milk to the youngest children giving each child a kiss on the forehead and telling them good morning. The children will shout my name and some of them pucker their little lips ready to give me a kiss on the cheek as well. They've all figured out my name and now I'm called one of three things: "Hope" "Hopie" or "Mama". Each of the kids hold different places in my heart and I have a special relationship with each one of them. Some are tickled until they tell me good morning or how they're feeling others get a little hug and a reminder to eat everything on their plates.

Heading outside Darlens and his little sister begin the chant of "HOPE! HOPE! HOPE! HOPE!" I shout their names back to them reaching them and tickling them both to get them to stop. After all the plates are passed out I head back to the preschool room to make sure a couple particular kids eat their breakfast & sending kids out to wash their hands or into the bathrooms before assembly starts. A handful of children trickle in once all the children are seated and eating, James and I run to greet them and scoop them up to carry them to an extra seat at the table.

  I helped Carmita clear the tables that day as she was just getting over the virus and her hands still couldn't lift heavy things. I served food to the last couple kids that arrived and gave a child with a fever some medicine before heading in to assembly to sing with the kids. Cristelle is a little two year old that was the first child to really attach to me; she ran up to me in her little pink and yellow shirt and lifted her arms to be picked up. Swinging her up to my hip we began to sing Oh, Be Careful Little Eyes, we sing it in English and in Kreyol. I began singing and swaying with her, we shook our fingers at each other shouting "What you see!" and laughing as we both couldn't keep a straight face!

After singing we say a prayer for the day and then the children all split into their different classes and head to one of our 4 different stations. The 2's start with craft and today was a coloring page of the Good Samaritan, I sat beside a little boy who when I first met him was very shy and never smiled. But through the months he has become such a smiley outgoing little thing it's really amazing to see. I sat between him and my little flower; Astride. Astride has grown a lot over the past few months, she holds the little pink crayon like it’s the most precious possession she owns and carefully she begins to color the man laying with his back against a large boulder. She doesn't stay in the lines exactly but she understands that this should all be colored. I praise her and Daniel as they work and other children lift up their papers to show me how they're doing as well.

   

Once all the children have finished coloring and their names have been written on the top we bring out fresh play dough! Each of the children are given a portion and I watched as they began to pinch little pieces off and roll into balls, “Hopie! Vini!” I hear from across the room, Marie Landie has rolled all of her play dough into one huge snake and her beaming smile shows just how proud she is of it. I play with her and Cristelle showing them how to make a dog with their balls of play dough, they were so excited!

Picking up the playdough the children are sent outside to sit on the step of the gazebo where they each receive a vitamin, a banana and a cup of water. I take a seat in front of them and instantly 4 kids run to sit on my lap while another 4 run to sit on James’ as well. We laugh, talk and play with the kids as they eat their snack and when they're finished half head to the front where chalk and bubbles await and I stay with the other half in the back where James has them do races. 

Astride and Redjina have claimed my lap as James calls out two kids to come stand beside him we all chant with him “Ready, Set, Go!” and they're off running a lap around the pool their little shoes slapping the concrete, ribbons flying and shrieks of joy escaping their lips as they race and those still seated chant both of their names. I'm impressed by a number of the kids that fly around the pool at lightning speed, they “cross the finish line” and give James and I a high five, their faces shining and hearts racing.

After everyone’s has had two turns it’s time to fall in and head to the front. We recite the alphabet in both French and English making silly voices and calling the kids to hold on and don't let go. Each of the children are given a piece of colored chalk, they run to the tall black gate which serves as a perfect blackboard for the kids artwork. One of the kids favorite things to do is draw lines and circles and then erase it to draw more; but when they do their hands turn the color of the chalk and they'll shriek and giggle lifting them up to show me.

I bring out the bubbles as James gathers what is left of the little pieces of chalk. No matter how old you are there is really something simply magical about bubbles and chasing them as the wind sends them dancing brings a smile to even the grumpiest face.

The fourth and final station is inside where we have assembly. The children sit around a chair as Islande has them tell her in English and Kreyol the date, days of the week and months of the year. Astride and Redjina have claimed my lap once more as Islande reads the class a story, first in English and then in Kreyol   asking them questions as she reads. The children all love books.

Today we had blocks after reading. I hadn’t been able to watch the 2’s play with the blocks and it was fun to watch as they pieced the pieces together and then told me what they’d built. I watched as a 2 square blocks became a car. A  whole stack of blocks became Adams airplane and Fabiola built a tower and then began sharing the different pieces as she took it apart.

Soon it’s lunch time, blocks are gathered and children line up to head to the preschool room to eat. A little boy managed to get his shoes off while playing with blocks and he brings them over to me to put on. His shoes are an old pair of tennis shoes that have seen much better days, there used to be a character of some kind on the sides but it’s long since come off, the insides are so shredded that it’s hard to get his sockless little foot in them but in they go nonetheless and he runs off to a lunch of peanut butter and honey sandwiches with milk.

I head out to serve the children under the gazebo, as I step outside I hear one of the oldest girls praying “Thank you for everything, please God bless Hope, bless Fi Fi, bless James, bless us God. We love you. In Jesus’ name amen!” to say that this is sweet is honestly an understatement. This child has far less than I have and does not have a good home life. But she prays that God will bless me. It’s a rather humbling thought.

Mats are laid out side by side in the assembly room and once the younger children have washed their sticky hands and mouths I help lay them down on the blue mats that fill the room. There aren’t enough for all the children and so I pull out some blankets and lay them in the pathway between the mats for the remaining children to sleep on. Islande sits and sings to them as they fall to sleep with a fan blowing around the room.

The oldest children have recess now. James and I try to switch it up and make it fun for the kids. We started with races as there were a couple kids with fevers that needed to be cared for. Hosperlinda, the oldest child that goes to Maranatha and has become my little sister begs me to race with her. I haven't done a whole lot of running or really any movement since I was sick. But her pleading puppy eyes are to much to deny and so off we go running around the pool. I was able to run which felt absolutely amazing during the race (not so much after) but running alongside my little sister both of us taunting the other one as we ran and laughing was much needed and a little prayer of thanks went up in the Haitian heat.

The wooden benches had been moved for cleaning and James and I had the idea to try and do musical chairs… with benches. We got James ipod and speaker and explained the game to the kids. Last one to sit down is out and the game began! The kids caught on very quickly and there was lots of laughter and dancing as the kids marched around the benches.

At 12 their afternoon classes start and they're divided again into three classes to work and James and I are on lunch break for an hour and a half. The day seems so much longer than it is and so much happens in those few hours that when lunch comes around sitting down and eating something sounds like you've just won the lottery. Don't get me wrong I love working with the kids but it does take more out of you than you realize.

The kids wake up and have a snack of crackers and water before heading in for afternoon assembly where James tells the children a Bible story while Rehuel translates for him, the other teachers and I hold as many kids on and around us as we can while making sure children are not messing with things they shouldn’t. The kids generally listen well but we all have our days where we can’t sit still and when there’s 80 kids that can't sit still a lot of grace is needed; which God always provides but we don't always tap into.

After another prayer children head to the front yard and play on the swings, kick balls, chase each other or curl up in our laps as they wait for their parents to come and arrive. It used to be hard to let the kids go home; not knowing where they're going to or knowing and not liking it. But if God has taught me anything it's that He does not just live here at Maranatha; He goes home with the children as well. He cares for them, looks out for them and always brings them back no matter what virus strikes.

I've been more than blessed to be a part of this organization and to see the ups and downs of running a preschool and life in general on this little island. These children are so very smart and well behaved they humble me on a daily basis. I look forward to what God has in store for the future!

He's the Remedy

"Here we are, here we are
The broken and used, mistreated, abused
Here we are"

Our worship leader stopped the music; I'd had to sit down for the past two songs as my legs and hands had begun to ache and standing was to painful. He began to talk about the Chikungunya virus and how the people that have had it; we've really been broken by it.He talked about how he wished it would end and prayed for protection over people who hadn't gotten and healing for people who have it and I began to chuckle. I felt like God had seen me take a seat; heard my thoughts, understood that I felt horrible that I couldn't stand during worship and stopped and spoke through our worship leader and then wrapped me in a huge hug. God is so amazing. I had to take a moment as we continued to sing and thank God because He is the true remedy

"And here You are, here You are
The beautiful one who came like a Son
Here You are"

Chikungunya is a virus that has hit full force on our little island in the sun; my left hand began to ache the first week of May and I wasn't sure what was going on; I did know that I had stopped eating bananas as often as I had been and so I began to eat them like crazy as my haitian brothers were struck one by one with the Chikungunya virus. That same week I was struck with Malaria. Haitian Malaria is different than African Malaria, thank you Lord, though I did spend a couple days in bed and was really out of it. 

Chikungunya is similar to Malaria in that it is spread by mosquitoes, another reason why bug spray is my daily perfume. NPR came and did a story on the Chikungunya; their description is:

"Chikungunya virus is transmitted by mosquitoes, causes rash, fever and excruciating joint pain. It has no cure. The good news: It's rarely fatal."

I love how it seems like they give you the really bad news of "it has no cure" and then they try to give you a ray of sunshine with "It's rarely fatal" though I have to say that you kind of wish it was when you have it as nothing seems worse.

One by one we all began to show signs and then fall into bed with the virus. The boys and Madame Sue had it and I thought maybe with my bout of Malaria I'd missed it; but a few days after I'd recovered from Malaria I woke up in the night with a high fever and severe chills. I'd missed being with my preschoolers and my feverish mind somehow got the idea that if I could just get downstairs and make chai tea I would perfectly fine in the morning. I tried to get out of bed and aching pain went through every single little bone in my feet. "I'm ok" I kept telling myself through chattering teeth "Need water or chai" but by the time I'd made it to the stairs I was shaking so bad and the pain in my feet was so intense I had to sit down. We'd found that the medicine the government was giving to people for the virus was basically tylenol, this was kept downstairs. Now with renewed effort I began to slide step by step down the stairs, I made it to the landing and thats when everything went foggy and I couldn't move. Alex our night guard who is more like a very protective big brother to all of us found me and gave me tylenol and water and got me back upstairs where the fever raged but finally broke around 5am and I passed out for most of the next day. For the next few days I slept most of the day but at night my whole body would ache and go rigid with aching pain. I'd try to not move but even not moving hurt!

"So we lift up our voices and open our hands
To cling to the love that we can't comprehend
Oh, lift up your voices and lift up your heads
To sing of the love that has freed us from sin"

During those long nights I found myself just crying out to God, asking for strength to get through the night as fever, chills and aches raked my body. I've never understood that phrase until now; it quite the apt description! I hated being in bed and missing preschool and working with the kids. But no matter how angry I wanted to be at myself or at the virus I couldn't. God continually reminded me that He had provided people to care for the children; yes they had to pick up some slack but it was ok.

My fever finally left for good and then the pain was only in my hands and feet making walking painful and doing anything with my hands. But when my fellow intern went down with Chikengunya God gave me strength in a matter of hours and I was able to walk down the stairs, sit with one of my 2 year olds on my lap and tell the children a Bible story.

Chikungyna seems to be a little different for everyone. Some have pain in their back as well as hands and feet, the boys had the virus for 3-4 days and then were back to school or work though their hands sometimes would ache. The virus seems to love Sue and I. Just when we think we're nearing the end it seems to come back or we get a symptom that we thought we were lucky enough to avoid like the rash.

"He is the one who has saved us

He is the one who embraced us

He is the one who has come and is coming again

Hes the remedy" ~ David Crowder Band

It's been a couple weeks since I was let out of bed, I can't clench my hands, walking is still tough sometimes and standing for long amounts of time brings me to my knees. The rash is taking its time moving along. I feel like I've aged a good 10 years with all the sitting and hobbling that I do but God is healing me.

Through this time I feel like the spiritual warfare has been a lot heavier. Arguments erupted that were rather silly, attitudes were not at their best, exhaustion was ever present and one thing after another happened that just had us all saying "Really?!?!"

But my favorite times in the past several weeks (besides the kids smiling faces and hilarious stories) has been devotions. James and Patrick have been leading them and both have done just fantastic jobs of listening to what God has to say through them. They've been so encouraging to us and the reminder that we've all been touched by this virus. We all dealt with it a little differently but we're all overcoming it together.

One night James spoke about prayer and how it shouldn't be a daily thing but every moment we should be looking to God. A couple of my brothers talked about how this virus has really taken a toll on them both physically and spiritually and it was awesome as God just moved and we began lifting and encouraging each other.

Our Pastor gave a sermon on "What's Wrong With the World?" and the answer is mankind and our selfish and sinful ways. We as humans can do anything and everything possible to try and fix it. We can give everyone houses and food but the problem is internal and only God can change that. He truly is the true remedy for the world.

While I have not enjoyed having Chikungya God has really used it to draw me closer to Him. I've had to rely on Him and trust Him so much and He's pulled through everytime; blessing me through His word and through other people and the kids here at Maranatha.

I can try to fix people and to do everything within my power to help them; but if I do not do it through the power of my Lord and Savior, I am of no help. I can talk all I want but if I'm not allowing God to speak through me, I speak in vain.

Patrick reminded me of one of my favorite quotes during devotions:

"We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won’t need to tell anybody it does. Lighthouses don’t fire cannons to call attention to their shining- they just shine." D.L Moody

Not Superhumans

I moved from the "Land of Perfection" to a little Island that is one of the "Scariest in All the Lands". I left the highest paying job to one where I'm not paid, said goodbye to adoring family and friends that eagerly await my homecoming and left everything "normal and comfortable" to go be a superhero and live with almost nothing.

Wait, back pedal.... somethings not right; oh haha nope, didn't do that. I left the States where bad and good things happen, where people are people to move to Haiti; where bad and good things happen and where people are; well people. I left a money paying job to work at another job that pays me in a spiritual and mental way, I said goodbye to friends as we all scattered to fulfill dreams, hugged and kissed my family goodbye as they sent me off knowing I was safe in Gods hands and I picked up my camera, journal, Bible and God's Hand to go capture, remember, grow, learn and to be used as He led me to go live in Haiti as a big sister and dance teacher with more blessings that I could have imagined.

As much as I want to be I am not a superhuman.

Going on a mission trip or moving to a new place you usually arrive and you're just so fired up and ready to learn and help out and you have so many hopes and dreams and plans and you're going to make them ALL come true! But; when I was 17, I went on a mission trip to China, the woman leading our group was a mother of 4 children that had been adopted from China. Having made several trips to China and having a large group of 12, we had weekly meetings and she beat into our heads "Be flexible, BE flexible, BE FLEXIBLE!" I say this in the most imperative way. Coming from a Christian family where all of us were home schooled my parents had taught me manners and respect for authority. I knew Tami was our leader, that she'd been to China before, she had our best interests in mind and so there was nothing to worry about and no question of whether she was right or wrong and I left with the only worry being that I'd miss a chance to shine.

On that trip we were tested in our flexibility when our hotel, that had been booked in advance and that our contact in Beijing had made sure of either the same day or the previous one, no longer had our rooms. When we traveled to "every" hotel in Beijing until early into the morning and finally crashed at our contacts house; some in beds other on couches or the floor. I had flexibility when I was "lost" in the pearl market (that story is for another time) when I got a little boy instead of the little girl I was POSITIVE I was going to get, when I thought my translator didn't like me, when the pool was closed and a new activity had to be found, when there were unexpected free times, when saying goodbye to the children that had stolen our hearts, when a passport was stolen and two of our teammates did not return with us waiting on a new passport to arrive.

God however always showed us the "reason why" we went through these things: We had the most amazing breakfast to wake up to that our contacts wife made and we got to hear their perspective a little more than we would have, God showed me how to keep a level head and make smart decisions, God gave me a little brother and made my translator feel more at home and connect better with both of us, I learned just how many languages and dialects there are in China and how my translator didn't speak the same one our little brother did, but she could understand 3/4 of what he said. The kids got to go to a movie theater, tons of laughs and stories were shared, hearts were broken for the better and God wasn't finished with two members of our team in China.

China grew me in a lot of ways and I didn't realize how much until I went to Ireland with my dance team last summer. Also, my parents took special care in choosing each of my siblings names and I have to say my parents were spot on with each of us. If you didn't already know my name is Hope, on my birth announcement was the Bible verse Titus 2:13 which happens to be my birth date. I hope for Jesus' coming and for the best in people and in life though sometimes it's hard I still strive to find that glimmer. As my faith has grown I've found that I'm not worried about a majority of things because I know, I legitimately know that God has His hands around me and whatever happens He will give me the strength and the knowledge to make it through. This doesn't mean that I don't have that moment of panic or uncertainty (I am human remember) but I always return to rest in His peaceful arms and I thank Jesus for the strength to do that.

Heading to Haiti I didn't have a big elaborate plan, I wasn't even positive I was going until a month or so before I landed in Haiti. God made it clear that I was supposed to go however and so I jumped from the top of the mountain into the clouds below.

I feel like I took my first few weeks slowly as I learned the language but then I just started running, pouring, driving myself as the needs I saw came at me like a meteor shower. I didn't feel like I was doing enough or really anything, but God was using me and I didn't realize this until God brought me a friend, my fellow intern here at Maranatha who opened my eyes to the littlest things and showed me how God had been working. Reminded me that while its great to pour out you have to be poured into because we can't run on our own steam and we need to be going to God's word daily. I've never loved or done devotions as much as I do here.

God was trying to show and tell me, to take time and that I was doing a good job and actually during devotions I heard His voice tell me this and it brought me to tears. I still didn't slow up or take time for myself. Didn't see it as a need or a high priority. God brought me three more friends, 3 girls that volunteered here, two were close friends from Canada that were working with us for two weeks and then heading up into the mountains to work with an orphanage and the other came from Texas and ended up staying an extra two weeks! We all became very close and they poured into me opening my eyes once again; but still I wasn't taking the time God wanted me to. I got an infection on my finger and had to sit for a good 30 minutes soaking it till the hot water became cold to draw it out 4x's a day for several weeks. Though I always managed to find something to do while soaking it. God is stubborn and my old dance injury began to act up so I was sitting for a good hour with ice on my back. Couldn't do a whole lot during that time and I think God began to smile.

My second week of helping run the preschool while the Tluceks were stateside for graduations I was hit hard with a virus; I had a migraine, aches and cramps in my stomach, side, hands and feet along with being incredibly nauseous but I never threw up no matter how much I wanted to and I was VERY out of it. This had me in bed, much to my dismay but both Madame Sue and James convinced me that it was better to miss one or two days than an entire week of preschool. I tried to be angry at myself for "slacking off" and "not helping" but though I was upset I wasn't angry, I heard the kids voices and wanted to cry because I missed them but there was only an ache because I knew that they were all in good hands and I would see them soon, I tried not to enjoy all the sleep and a chance to read a couple books though I was in pain I hadn't gotten to sit down and read for awhile. I laid in bed Tuesday and Wednesday tried to get up Thursday and was able to do meeting in the morning but the pain in my side was leaving my breathless and so I went back to bed. Friday I was determined to do craft with the kids as it was one I'd been looking forward to. James and Madame Sue know me pretty well and after I'd told them I felt ok they responded "Ok what exactly does that mean?" I passed the test however and was allowed to help in craft if I sat for most of it and went to bed at lunchtime. Walking out I was immediately greeted with "HOPE! HOPE! MWEN HOPE!!! MWEN SONJE OU!!! MWEN RENMEN OU" (My Hope, I missed you, I love you) I had the biggest smile and tears in my eyes as I hugged and kissed each one of them.

Over the weekend I wasn't sleeping well at night, still had an awful headache, had to rest and felt off and out of it. Monday: Madame Sue put me on Malaria medicine and wowzah, powered through the first half of the day as I wanted to do dance for the kids but after the last class I went to bed and crashed without being told.
Tuesday: took it easy and took pictures of the kids playing with parachute and balls; the lady that cleans after meals was sick with the new Chikungunya virus and so I pushed through to
clean up, sweep and mop for the afternoon classes but I felt super nauseous and lightheaded and finished as quickly as possible before crashing yet again.
Wednesday: I got to do lunch and a small piece of recess but I took my last malaria pills soon after recess and had to go lie down; kids were not thrilled but I told them Thursday I would stay up and be able to tell them all goodbye.
Thursday: came and I woke up feeling like a completely new person which I know was all God's doing because we were incredibly short staffed as the Chikungunya virus was making it's rounds and I jumped in and helped lead the 2's class which is our largest group. I had an absolute blast and recess we played the kids favorite game "Going on a Lion Hunt" which you have to have two interns to play and I was able to say goodbye to the kids and send them home with a hug and kiss.
Friday: my fellow intern was electrocuted and sent to bed. Turned the day around and I ended up doing bikes around the pool which I've secretly been missing and wanting to do for a long time. We only had 60 kids come which seems like nothing but was a blessing and the day went so smoothly I give God all the glory for that.

Through this entire experience God taught me several different lessons but the most prominent one is that I need to give my worries and cares to Him before they settle on my shoulders and I'm driving to do anything and everything despite how I feel and end up in bed with a virus.

We are not superhumans and God has a way of reminding us on the mission field; wherever that is for you on this earth. We can't do everything; we just can't. We cannot depend on our own power and strength because we will find the bottom of a small container where His power and strength is bottomless. When God tells us in Matthew 16:24 to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily He doesn't exactly mean go make yourself miserable and don't take care of yourself. The NLV puts it this way "Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross and follow me." taking time to rest and refresh yourself in His love and peace is not selfish. Something I'm learning and probably will continue to "learn" for a very long time.

All of this to say that I knew I was giving things up when I moved, I knew God was asking me to give things up and when I came to Haiti I told God "I'm following You and therefore I have everything I need." and we're all called to do this in our daily lives. I'm nobody supernatural I'm simply trying to follow God and glorify Him.

Remember: You're not a superhuman, take time to seek Him because you are His child and He loves you to pieces.