Showing posts with label Missons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Missons. Show all posts

Friday, January 16, 2015

Oh Be Careful

"She is mean!"

Was the phrase that came out when I explained why I'd asked for prayer for a certain two year old. I hadn't been back very long, but this little girl had caught my attention. I'd watched as she'd bit, kicked, hit, stole another child's food repeatedly throughout the week and when corrected she would look at me or another teacher, soaking it all in and respond to everything with a confident "Wi" (yes) responding to "You know that's wrong" or "Don't do that again, ok?" but she would turn around and do it a few minutes later!

God, how do I reach this child?

Its funny how God speaks and uses so many different things to touch us. I had started to stick with this little girl, when I wasn't teaching dance; keeping her close, playing with her and just loving on her and it seemed to be making a difference. Then, one day she was sitting on my lap and a little boy came and did something, honestly I don't remember what it was, but I gave his hand a pat and told him "no, don't do that." The little girl then took a swat at his hand repeating what I had said... it was as if her slap had hit me in the face instead. She was watching me and had swung the other way, she was now a little "professor" discipling kids! I asked her teachers and they told me that yes when they reprimand a child she comes running over to do it too. 

God, is this my fault?

I blame myself and beat myself up, mentally, a lot for different things. Which is not healthy and something God is working through with me. A lot of things had been piling on my heart and mind as my eyes were being opened more and more to what these children went home to every day. But, this thought knocked the wind out of me and I wasn't sure where to go. Today though God showed me something that humbled me.

There are a handful of kids I watch when they eat breakfast and lunch. They do not get a lot to eat at home, one needs water instead of milk, one wants to take food home, another is... too weak to eat is the only way I can think to describe it and another isn't up to trying new foods. So, I usually feed these children by hand sit with them on my lap and sometimes they eat and sometimes I try again at lunch. As I came in to check on one of them the little girl was trying to feed the child I was checking on! This child was her own age and honestly wasn't going to be fed by her, but she'd been watching me and was copying me.

I cried.

Children are the next generation, children copy what they see others do, whether it is good or bad. What we are doing matters; God reminds me of this so much! And it's important to be a godly example to these children and to love them with a Christ like love because you're not just helping to change a life but a nation too. We aren't perfect, we'll mess up but hopefully we'll all learn and love through it all.

This is a song that we sing at preschool and you all may have sung it at one point in your lives or another; but this song really stuck to my heart while I was holding my little girl or shadow as she's now being called. 

"Oh be careful little eyes what you see (what you see!) *insert children shouting this last part
Oh be careful little eyes what you see (what you see!)
For the Father up above
He is looking down in love
So, be careful little eyes what you see (what you see!)

I pray that people, not just the children at the preschool, would see Jesus through me.

"Be careful little ears what you hear"

I pray that I listen to God's words and let them fill me.

"Be careful little mouth what you say"

I pray my words are encouraging and loving at all times.

"Be careful little hands what you do"

I pray I am gentle, kind and a servant.

"Be careful little feet where you go"

I pray I follow God wherever He takes me, in a day, week, month and the years ahead.


Sunday, November 23, 2014

Thankful Week 4

The end of the week is wrapping up! There is good and blessings in every day and certainly every week. We did have a lot of news that was hard, some tears escaped and it made for a long week.

I am thankful that Jesus walks beside us, holds everything in His hands and that I am a work in progress.

I struggle with different things about myself. A lot of things actually... self worth being one of the biggest ones and I'm very sensitive. I shared my testimony this summer and bawled the whole way through it. I know that I am not perfect, that I make mistakes and in the hard and weak points of my life these things become twisted as I dwell on them and become like chains that I wind and trap myself in; and all the while God is speaking to me and holding His hands out; just waiting for me hand them over. But it's hard, and though I want to hand them over it's a daily choice because somehow, if I don't continually hand things over to Him, I find myself wrapped back up in my chains of "worthlessness" once again. 

But you know something? God is pleased with me. I am His daughter and though I push myself and feel horrible when things don't turn out perfectly; He is pleased with me. With us, all of us! Because He knows our thoughts and our hearts. Things don't have to be perfect for God to love us or "notice" us; He loved us when we didn't even know Him, He loved us in all our mess. He LOVES us.

Wow. Just let that sink in.

We are His children and He is the perfect fathe, continually helping His children to learn and to grow from the dried and broken ground into a beautiful creation reaching for the Son.

There is a song by Brandon Heath called Wait and See and some of the lyrics are: 


the farther out I go
I've seen enough to know
That I'm not here for nothin'
He's up to somethin'
...
There is hope for me yet
Because God won't forget
All the plans He's made for me
I have to wait and see
He's not finished with me yet



Sunday, October 12, 2014

Rest Easy

"You better rest while you're there" she said giving me a big hug as I said goodbye the night before I headed home. She said this sternly but with all the love in the world and I felt it. On the one side I didn't want to go home, I knew there were things to be done and by the time I returned we were hoping that over half of the kids in the children's home would be with their forever families and I would miss meeting their families and saying goodbye and what if school started?! I was so tempted to change my flight so I could meet one of the parents that was flying in the day I left and we would miss each other by a couple hours. I struggled with this but I felt His hand on me telling me that I needed to go home now for a short time so that I could stay for a longer time. And so I boarded the plane with half my heart left in Haiti but knowing this was His plan and having my mind set to enjoy my time and to rest so I could come back.

Part of resting meant: healing and healing meant: medicine and medicine meant: a trip to the doctors office.  So, I went to our family Dr. to get some blood work done... my favorite. I don't like hospitals or doctors offices, if I'm being completely honest, the thought of them makes me nauseous and having to spend any time in them just doesn't sit well with me. It's not like I've had horrible experiences or anything... it's kind of like peoples fear for the dentist. I've never been afraid of the dentist but doctors is another story. However, my mom and I walked in with the comfort of a warm starbucks in hand and took a seat. It was not a good C-virus day and me not wanting to be there didn't help with anything either. When our doctor came in and began talking, her words were "... she looks like she went through some rough stuff, the light thats normally in her eyes isn't, it isn't there and that worries me." it took me back hearing this; was it really that noticeable or that bad?! Yes, I felt bad but it wasn't... that bad surely!

I told her that I was only staying a month and she began talking to me about how she felt it would be wise to take another month off, how the poor will always be with us, that going back at 50% I will decrease faster than if I waited to go back till I was 100%, she continued talking about how Jesus rested and it took everything not to start bawling as she spoke these words to me. I knew she was speaking truth but I didn't want to believe it. Yes, I wasn't as 100% but it wasn't that bad and I would be ready to go in a month.

But when the test results came back and my thyroid levels were not where they should be my dr put me on medicine that would last 4 weeks and I would need to be checked once the medicine was gone to make sure the dosage was right; my flight was scheduled to leave in two weeks.

I choked up as I spoke in front of my church; when my Pastor asked me to tell them why I wanted to go back and how Haiti had captured my heart.

I started to cry as I put together a powerpoint to show at a fundraiser dinner I had and I put off writing a speech till a couple days before. My heart ached as all the sweet little faces popped up one right after the other, their little voices calling my head and I wanted nothing more than to be there with them. I wrote a speech, knowing that I would just cry if I didn't have a something set (though I didn't follow it to the letter) and it would be a good distraction.

I was not happy. I was angry.

Not angry at God, my doctor, family, friends or even complete strangers; though I think they all might have felt that I was and an angry outburst or two probably didn't help with their feelings but I was angry with myself. All the stress,  culture shock, worries and aches bubbled over and were misdirected.

And so I basically ran, ran away from it all to find myself sobbing to a dear friend on a mission campus in Oklahoma City and that's where He found me and I found.... me.

There are 2 things I've done for as long as I can remember:
     #1. Pushed myself through things. Thinking "it's not that bad" and "I can do this!" or the fact that "there are other people worse off than I am and doing way more things than I am"
     #2. Beat myself up when I mess something up no matter how little it is.

One of my best friends taught me a long time ago that there are always 2 perspectives: yours and the other persons and that I should to try and look through both perspectives and then apply to God's word before doing anything rash. Well tried to teach me would be a better description as I usually ended up just kicking myself about it.

I've believed a lot of lies about myself growing up. Not necessarily lies that people fed or told me but ones that I gathered or took the wrong way. And these weighed on me; I thought and saw the best in people but the worst in myself.

But, God has helped me begin to untangle this web, piece by piece through: His word and countless people showing and telling me that taking care of myself is not selfish and is critical when you're working in and for God's Kingdom (which should be wherever you are in life)

I never saw myself as enough or believed that I was enough. I knew what God said, I knew that without Him we aren't enough, I knew I had Him, I knew other people were enough but for some reason I was excluded in my head. I encouraged and built other people up but tore myself down. Have you ever been told to "drink your own medicine" or to "listen to your own advice" or something along those lines? Well; I needed to be told that and God gave me four incredible friends in Haiti, the wonderful mom of my Haiti family and the house mama of the childrens home to tell and show me that I was a precious in God's eyes. Each in their own way sat me down and spoke truth into me and I cannot thank them all enough but I do say a very heartfelt thank you to: My Haiti mamas, good cop, bad cop, captain awesome and my canadian "mother" for everything they have said and done for me.

I'm still a work in progress. I'm still needing healing and rest (and I still feel like a lazy lump) but little by little I'm understanding more and being changed a little more to the beautiful masterpiece that He created me to be.

There was a song that I took to Haiti and I forgot about during the summer. Music has always played a big role in my life through dance, playing instruments and singing. And this song I feel God speaking to me and it is written by one of my favorite singer/songwriters: Andrew Peterson. The chorus is:

You don't have to work so hard
You can rest easy
You don’t have to prove yourself
You’re already mine
You don’t have to hide your heart
I already love you
I hold it in mine
So you can rest easy


God says this about each and every single one of us. I write this with not only myself in mind but several missionary families and people that I know are breaking their backs and feeling beaten and lost. It's ok to rest in His arms for as long as it takes. 

He loves you.
He delights in you.
He sings over you! 

Yes! Isn't that such a comforting thought?! In the end it's you and Him not everyone you've ever met judging you, but you're loving Savior. If you need to rest then rest and rest easy however hard it may be or seem God wants you to rest and be at the fullest of your abilities. So together lets rest easy in Him though we see the work ahead and yearn to do it; rest because He knows your heart and has seen your work and is not judging or angry with you. This is not a punishment; but a gift.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Beni Sèye A ~ Bless the Lord

As Orange group left, my translator and I took a seat on a bench and let out a deep sigh, we'd made it another day teaching the crazy class of 42 little 5-7 little boys and no one was injured miraculously enough and we'd all had fun! But the heat was raging inside the carport and I was so thankful to see pink group walking in through the gate; girls 8-10.

They stayed in line until they got close to my bench and then came at me shouting my name and covering me with kisses. As I sat on the bench laughing; I kissed those that I could and avoided one special little girl that always tried to lick my cheek; because if she succeeded I would squeal and that was hilarious to her. Once they were all kissed and my special girl tickled and kissed; I announced that we would be playing Duck, Duck Goose! This is their favorite game; everyday, throughout the duration of english camp, at least one of them would ask me if we were going to play it that day, as I've written before in a previous post I'd modified the original Duck, Duck, Goose! And they absolutely loved it! It also made the game last a little longer as well.

This group of girls were very closely knit. It seemed they all knew eachothers names, knew what each other liked and didn't liked, kept track of who had or hadn't run already and cheered for each other every single time and were the most obedient out of the four younger classes. I got to know a lot of them very well and three I knew previously from preschool. They tried to braid and string beads into my hair one day and almost succeeded, much to my surprise (I have very fine and thin hair) and one of the strands stayed in for a couple days.

One day, after we'd played all the games I had planned and were taking a water break, I looked at the clock to find we still had about 15 min. left; yes, we still had to drink water but that wasn't going to last more than 5 min. at most! When I told one of their jr. counselors she suggested we have them sing. My translator loves to sing and so once the girls were finished drinking from the clear little water bags he led them in 10,000 Reasons or as they call it here Bless the Lord.

As their angelic voices raised to God I closed my eyes; they sang the chorus in english then in kreyol and then in english again; I expected them to stop but then three voices continued strong singing the actual lyrics in Kreyol. I'd heard this song all over, in Haitian churches as we drove by on our way to our church, the preschoolers singing it, our staff as they worked, children just randomly singing it on the streets or next door and everytime it just filled my heart with hope, hope for this little island of roughly 10 million people. That when the sun comes up and it's a new day dawning that they would find peace and joy in singing His song again. And that whatever may pass and whatever lies before they would be singing when the evening comes. Life here is not easy,  voodoo is a very dark cloud that hangs low over these people and it's my prayer that they would all come to know their Savior that they would know for a fact that He is rich in love and slow to anger that His name is great and His heart is kind and they would find and know ten thousand reasons to sing His praise and then that day comes and their strength is failing that they would go home to His arms and would sing His praise unending ten thousand years and then forevermore.

I love every single one of the kids I met this summer at English Camp. Though some were a little tougher than others I still love them and pray that what they heard about Jesus would sink in and they would all come to a saving knowledge of Him. That they saw Jesus shining through us and would have a hunger and a thirst to know more about Him.

Bless the Lord 
Oh my soul, oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
Oh, my soul
I worship His holy name

Saturday, August 23, 2014

What Time is it Mr. Wolf?

Green group, boys 8-9, entered the gate all in a perfect line, their hands on each others shoulders singing with their leader:
Leader - "Agoch!"
Green group -"Adwat"
Leader - "Agoch!"
Green Group - "Adwat"
Together - "Goch, dwat, goch, dwat!"

As their head jr. counselor passed me he tipped his imaginary hat and called out "Mesye di bonjou a madame Hope"(Sirs say good morning to miss Hope) "Bonjou Madame Hope!" they all cried, some giving me high fives, others leaning in quickly for a kiss on their cheek as they passed by and four boys in particular broke the line to give me a hug and say "Good morning Hope, how are you today?" and a couple more sentences that they learned in english class from Miss Sarah. Their head counselor had them all make a circle and stand quietly, I was SO impressed! And told them all how proud I was of them and thanked them all for listening and obeying their jr. counselor.

"Are you ready to play Twizzle?" I asked "YES!" resounded from inside the carport and I couldn't help but let out a laugh and smile as I began to call out "March, march, march" and the boys joined in; a couple adding "et" (and in Kreyol) I waited a little bit as I watched the anticipation building on their faces "annnnd sit down!" they all squatted looking around to see if everyone had done the same "stand up!" again they scanned their group to see if anyone was out yet. "sit down, stand up, sit down, sit down!" we all laughed as several of the boys stood up instead of staying seated and were tickled out of the circle to stand outside of it and help me watch for others that would be out. We played this for a while; I added different movements and whenever I said "Twizzle" the boys had to jump and do a 180 turn. Anticipation grew as the circle became smaller and smaller until there were just two boys left, I began doing a pattern "Sit down, stand up, jump, twizzle" I repeated this until the boys had figured out the pattern, then... with a slight smile I called out "Sit down, stand up, jump, twizzle, stand up!" one continued the pattern while the other had listened to what I said and remained standing! "Li genyen!" (he won) we all shouted and as I lifted the boys arms and congratulated him.

"All right, go touch the wall" I called and 39 pairs of feet went racing away to the wall opposite the carport. "Ok, ok?" I called their attention to me "Ok!" they called back, "Today we're going to play..." cheers erupted into the summer heat as I announced their favorite game; What Time is it Mr. Wolf? Since we had a new child in the group I explained it for him and just as a refresher for the rest, "You children are the sheep and your jr. counselors and leader are the wolves... especially this one" I said pushing a jr. counselor off of his perch on the small wall in the carport "ale jwe" (go play) I encouraged him. I continued to explain that after I counted to 3 they needed to ask "What time is it Mr. Wolf?" and then I was going to say a time (e.g 4 o'clock) they would need to take that many steps towards the wolves, they should continue asking and moving forward until I called out "LUNCHTIME!" when I yelled this they needed to run back to the wall before the wolves could snatch them.
"If a wolf catches you, you're out!" I explained "Are you ready?" laughing I climbed up on the little ledge to be out of the way of stampeding children as I'd been asked/told to take it easy having been down the day before with malaria.

"1, 2, 3!!!" I called out

"What time is it Mr. Wolf?"

"10 o'clock!"

"1, 2, 3, 4..." with every number they took a step until they reached 10 and then it began again; closer and closer they came to the waiting wolves, "5 o'clock, 3 o'clock" until they were all nervously standing in front of them, knowing that I would call lunchtime soon, the anticipation was killing everyone as I chuckled to myself "1 o'clock" one step closer "annnd LUNCHTIME!!!!!" I nearly fell off of the ledge laughing as I watched "organized chaos" take place before me.

The children went racing in all directions, trying to avoid the wolves that surrounded them, there was squealing and laughing as children narrowly escaped fingers that reached out just inches from catching them; as well as some shouts of displeasure followed by laughter as those that were caught were tickled by the captures before they were released to watch the game from the benches.

We played this until there just a handful of kids left. I watched as the Jr counselor I'd pushed off the wall to play; dove to catch a child, barely missed him and slammed his head into the door of one of the port a potties. He popped right back up though! "oh" my hand went to my mouth in shock, but on seeing he was ok I couldn't help but laugh as what had just happened replayed in my head and all the boys around me, who'd been caught and witnessed what happened began laughing along with me. Checking to see if he was ok (once I got my laughter under control, though he was laughing too) we finished the game and then handed out bags of water before they lined back up and headed to their next class.

These boys continued this awesome behavior throughout the next weeks and earned a pool party on one of the Friday Fun Days for their good behavior in ALL of their classes!

I loved teaching younger p.e during English Camp with Maranatha Children's Ministries, these boys hold a special place in my heart and I already miss seeing each of their smiling faces every morning. Just like these boys all of your hard work will pay off so don't stop working towards the honor and glory of our heavenly Father.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Strength Will Rise

Every evening, after English Camp we gather around the pool (unless it's raining in which we move inside) for a time of worship and devotions, some nights this ends up being rather late and a lot of us find ourselves longing for a cool shower to wash the dirt and sweat of the day off. But this is also one of my favorite times of the day because whether it's the words in the music or someones devotions God always manages to touch my heart in one way or another.

One evening we gathered around the pool after a particularly long week, we'd had a couple scares and a few injuries and I found myself just hurting and wanting to be with the kids, caring and loving on them all the time. I knew that these kids being Haitian were much safer than I would be out on the streets etc but still I found myself longing to go with them as they all headed home in their little groups; wanting to make sure those with little injuries were carried for properly so they would not get an infection and just loving on them and being an example for them. I sat there trying to push it away from my mind as the boys brought out the guitars. God however had heard my silent cry, He had felt the longing in my heart and as the first chords were played God lifted up my head and I began to sing: 

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord


Patience is not my strongest point, but waiting on God I find to be a little easier; call me crazy but I find His timing is always perfect and if I just sit tight and rejoice in Him, He is always worth the wait!

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God


He is the everlasting God; He's not going anywhere and He will never let me go

You do not faint
You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on the wings
Like eagles

As I begun to sing this last part tears filled my eyes as God reminded me once again of who He is; I grow weary and tired on a daily basis but He never does. Though I cannot go home with every needy and hurting child in the world God can and moreover; He does! He cares for us so deeply and I've been so privileged to see Him through my fellow interns, volunteers, translators, Jr. counselors and my directors. All the little things we do: greeting children as they come through the gats, smiles, hugs, meals, an encouraging word, placing a bandage and so much more it all matters and it touches not only us but those around us in ways that we may never know.

Leaning into God and receiving: strength, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control from Him on a daily basis is one of His many blessings that He pours on us, sometimes I overlook His blessings in a day; but I know each day holds at least a 100 in that: it's a new day, I'm breathing, I'm walking, I'm talking, I can hear, I can see, He has forgiven all our sins, He is mine and I am His, He loves me and on and on the list goes!

English Camp is a lot of work; but it's life changing and I would encourage all of you to volunteer for a week or more next year and if coming here is not a possibility right now sending supplies and other people here to love and work with these kids. There are 2 kinds of Christians: the givers and the goers (we should all be prayers) which one are you?


Saturday, July 26, 2014

Enough

It's easy to be frustrated and discouraged here. 

Or anywhere really. 

But all the little things will eventually add up and sometimes you just want to throw up your hands walk to the corner and sit with your arms over your head and your knees to your chest pretending that nothing exists, that children are not running wild and that people are not waiting on you to bring order to the caos that swirling around you since you are in fact, the teacher.

A lot has happened in the past month leading up to and during the past weeks of English camp. Both good and bad things. I had some hard personal struggles and heartaches and was hit really hard with some family news. Plus my ever present Chikungunya. And though I didn't realize it slowly I was picking up "rocks" and adding them to the basket I'd strapped over my shoulders and it was becoming heavier and heavier with every restless night and every rock not handed into God's caring hands. 

I'm not a muscular person. Our great big night guard has even given me the nickname of little mosquito because I can punch him as hard as I can an he "doesn't notice" all this to say, the weight I was carrying began to be to much and the day came when I was scrambling picking up all the rocks that Satan was pelting at me and I broke under the weight I'd placed on myself. 

It wasn't pretty. Words flew like fists from my mouth, anger rattled my bones and I fell in the Haitian dust and dirt.

But God.

Pause for a moment; I love that so much, it sums up our God so well in just two little words: but God.

But God did not leave me there; mind spinning, heart aching, cheeks burning with shame, eyes watering I stumbled my way back to the house where God placed exactly who I needed in my path. Seeing her I began to put my walls back up and tried to be strong; but God knew what I needed and He tore down the wall I tried to build and I fell into her embrace a complete wreck.

We were in the last classes of camp and she could have easily told me to go lay down or wash my face or any number of things and waited until after camp had finished. But she took the time to hold me as my shame and frustration poured out in a flood of salt and when it was time to talk she spoke only truth and love to me. Pointing out things I thought had gone unnoticed and thanking me for all my work.

I've never felt like I'm enough, 

Enough of anything really. 

Or enough to make anyone happy or proud of me. I could always do or be better or do or be more never truly satisfied or happy with myself I created a pit and an easy target for the devil to push and pull me with. 

Ephesians 2:8-9 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, so that no one can boast"

I don't know how many times I have heard this Bible verse, or how many times I've been told that it is NOT works that "get you into heaven" and yet I work as if my salvation depends on it instead of working solely for God's glory and His kingdom. I work myself until I physically cannot work any longer, worrying the whole time whether or not its going to be enough.

I'm not perfect

I stumble fall, cry and fail as much as the next person. But I have this eternal hope and I have a God that says I am enough for Him and He wants to be with me for all eternity. And so dear reader I encourage you to take time, to rest in His loving arms, grace is an unmerited favor, let Him work through you instead of you working and worrying yourself into a frenzy. God delights in You and He isn't watching you and keeping score. 

He loves you and you're enough for Him


Friday, June 13, 2014

Through My Eyes

I thought I'd take you on a journey and give you a peek into one of many exciting days of preschool here at Maranatha Children's Ministries in Haiti.


Woke up after one of the best nights sleep I've had in a very long time thanks to Malaria; the wind was playing with the leaves of the mango and palm tree right outside my window and I hoped for a little bit of a cooler today. Looking at the clock it read 7:22 and I have a meeting to do at 7:30, yikes! Jumped out of bed slipped on the dusty, white tile, let out a little yelp as I fell on my face, popped back up and quickly got ready for the day.

What kind of day lay ahead of me with such an exciting beginning?

Every day we have a schedule and for the most part we stick to it, though with weather and sickness things do tend to get shifted around. Racing out of my room finishing my braid I found on top of the box where we keep the sheets for the schedules a note saying that my fellow intern and good friend James had already put together the schedule, "Mesi anpil James!" Headed out to the meeting with 2 minutes to spare!

Morning meetings are under the big gazebo. All of the staff attends the meeting, they start by singing a hymn and than we do devotions before going through the schedule for the day. But something was off this morning, it was 7:35 and no one was at the table except for James and I... James went to get them but only 7 people came to morning meeting out of the usual 12 and out of the 7 there were only 4 people who work with the children 2 teachers and then James and me. I have to admit I freaked out a little.

"Does anyone know where... anyone is?"

We pieced together that 2 people were sick but the rest we had no idea. There had been a Tap Tap (public transportation) strike a few weeks ago and I wondered if it was happening again. "Guess we're going to be teaching the 2's class today James" I said laughing. Something Haiti has taught me is to laugh in the good times and the hard times because it's easy to be discouraged and sometimes you just have to let go and laugh as you think "What on earth just happened."

As they finished singing Mama Erta arrived just in time to do devotions! James and I were pretty relieved we weren't teaching but I told Erta I would be her helper for the day as 32 little 2 year-olds is a little much for one set of hands. We tweaked the schedule, prayed together and were off to get things ready.

Right before the children arrived one of the helpers for the 2's arrived! I wrapped her in a huge hug and told her I was super excited to see her, even more so because we were so short staffed! She was shocked when I told her everyone that was missing and she told me that she wasn't feeling good but she knew that she needed to come today and now she knew why!

8:00am time to greet the children!

Running, walking or toddling through the black gate, giving one last glance at their mother or father, a whimper perhaps to show that they weren't too excited to be going to school and then their eyes land on you and a smile, sometimes a shriek as they call your name and come running to your arms or just running to you and hugging your leg as sometimes you already have two kids on each hip and one clinging to your back. Shouts erupt from all over the yard and teachers and my fellow intern greet kids by name. 

Soon the call for clean up is made and we all head to breakfast, holding one or two kids while leading the rest behind. The oldest children sit at the table under the huge gazebo while the younger children sit at two more tables that are set up in the preschool room. As backpacks that weren't taken off before coming to breakfast are gathered children close their eyes and fold their hands while a teacher prays than breakfast is served! Emanie makes breakfast every morning and it changes between oatmeal with raisins to banana bread & hard boiled eggs.

I help pass out plates and cups of milk to the youngest children giving each child a kiss on the forehead and telling them good morning. The children will shout my name and some of them pucker their little lips ready to give me a kiss on the cheek as well. They've all figured out my name and now I'm called one of three things: "Hope" "Hopie" or "Mama". Each of the kids hold different places in my heart and I have a special relationship with each one of them. Some are tickled until they tell me good morning or how they're feeling others get a little hug and a reminder to eat everything on their plates.

Heading outside Darlens and his little sister begin the chant of "HOPE! HOPE! HOPE! HOPE!" I shout their names back to them reaching them and tickling them both to get them to stop. After all the plates are passed out I head back to the preschool room to make sure a couple particular kids eat their breakfast & sending kids out to wash their hands or into the bathrooms before assembly starts. A handful of children trickle in once all the children are seated and eating, James and I run to greet them and scoop them up to carry them to an extra seat at the table.

  I helped Carmita clear the tables that day as she was just getting over the virus and her hands still couldn't lift heavy things. I served food to the last couple kids that arrived and gave a child with a fever some medicine before heading in to assembly to sing with the kids. Cristelle is a little two year old that was the first child to really attach to me; she ran up to me in her little pink and yellow shirt and lifted her arms to be picked up. Swinging her up to my hip we began to sing Oh, Be Careful Little Eyes, we sing it in English and in Kreyol. I began singing and swaying with her, we shook our fingers at each other shouting "What you see!" and laughing as we both couldn't keep a straight face!

After singing we say a prayer for the day and then the children all split into their different classes and head to one of our 4 different stations. The 2's start with craft and today was a coloring page of the Good Samaritan, I sat beside a little boy who when I first met him was very shy and never smiled. But through the months he has become such a smiley outgoing little thing it's really amazing to see. I sat between him and my little flower; Astride. Astride has grown a lot over the past few months, she holds the little pink crayon like it’s the most precious possession she owns and carefully she begins to color the man laying with his back against a large boulder. She doesn't stay in the lines exactly but she understands that this should all be colored. I praise her and Daniel as they work and other children lift up their papers to show me how they're doing as well.

   
Once all the children have finished coloring and their names have been written on the top we bring out fresh play dough! Each of the children are given a portion and I watched as they began to pinch little pieces off and roll into balls, “Hopie! Vini!” I hear from across the room, Marie Landie has rolled all of her play dough into one huge snake and her beaming smile shows just how proud she is of it. I play with her and Cristelle showing them how to make a dog with their balls of play dough, they were so excited!

Picking up the playdough the children are sent outside to sit on the step of the gazebo where they each receive a vitamin, a banana and a cup of water. I take a seat in front of them and instantly 4 kids run to sit on my lap while another 4 run to sit on James’ as well. We laugh, talk and play with the kids as they eat their snack and when they're finished half head to the front where chalk and bubbles await and I stay with the other half in the back where James has them do races. 

Astride and Redjina have claimed my lap as James calls out two kids to come stand beside him we all chant with him “Ready, Set, Go!” and they're off running a lap around the pool their little shoes slapping the concrete, ribbons flying and shrieks of joy escaping their lips as they race and those still seated chant both of their names. I'm impressed by a number of the kids that fly around the pool at lightning speed, they “cross the finish line” and give James and I a high five, their faces shining and hearts racing.


After everyone’s has had two turns it’s time to fall in and head to the front. We recite the alphabet in both French and English making silly voices and calling the kids to hold on and don't let go. Each of the children are given a piece of colored chalk, they run to the tall black gate which serves as a perfect blackboard for the kids artwork. One of the kids favorite things to do is draw lines and circles and then erase it to draw more; but when they do their hands turn the color of the chalk and they'll shriek and giggle lifting them up to show me.



I bring out the bubbles as James gathers what is left of the little pieces of chalk. No matter how old you are there is really something simply magical about bubbles and chasing them as the wind sends them dancing brings a smile to even the grumpiest face.

The fourth and final station is inside where we have assembly. The children sit around a chair as Islande has them tell her in English and Kreyol the date, days of the week and months of the year. Astride and Redjina have claimed my lap once more as Islande reads the class a story, first in English and then in Kreyol   asking them questions as she reads. The children all love books.

Today we had blocks after reading. I hadn’t been able to watch the 2’s play with the blocks and it was fun to watch as they pieced the pieces together and then told me what they’d built. I watched as a 2 square blocks became a car. A  whole stack of blocks became Adams airplane and Fabiola built a tower and then began sharing the different pieces as she took it apart.


Soon it’s lunch time, blocks are gathered and children line up to head to the preschool room to eat. A little boy managed to get his shoes off while playing with blocks and he brings them over to me to put on. His shoes are an old pair of tennis shoes that have seen much better days, there used to be a character of some kind on the sides but it’s long since come off, the insides are so shredded that it’s hard to get his sockless little foot in them but in they go nonetheless and he runs off to a lunch of peanut butter and honey sandwiches with milk.

I head out to serve the children under the gazebo, as I step outside I hear one of the oldest girls praying “Thank you for everything, please God bless Hope, bless Fi Fi, bless James, bless us God. We love you. In Jesus’ name amen!” to say that this is sweet is honestly an understatement. This child has far less than I have and does not have a good home life. But she prays that God will bless me. It’s a rather humbling thought.

Mats are laid out side by side in the assembly room and once the younger children have washed their sticky hands and mouths I help lay them down on the blue mats that fill the room. There aren’t enough for all the children and so I pull out some blankets and lay them in the pathway between the mats for the remaining children to sleep on. Islande sits and sings to them as they fall to sleep with a fan blowing around the room.

The oldest children have recess now. James and I try to switch it up and make it fun for the kids. We started with races as there were a couple kids with fevers that needed to be cared for. Hosperlinda, the oldest child that goes to Maranatha and has become my little sister begs me to race with her. I haven't done a whole lot of running or really any movement since I was sick. But her pleading puppy eyes are to much to deny and so off we go running around the pool. I was able to run which felt absolutely amazing during the race (not so much after) but running alongside my little sister both of us taunting the other one as we ran and laughing was much needed and a little prayer of thanks went up in the Haitian heat.


The wooden benches had been moved for cleaning and James and I had the idea to try and do musical chairs… with benches. We got James ipod and speaker and explained the game to the kids. Last one to sit down is out and the game began! The kids caught on very quickly and there was lots of laughter and dancing as the kids marched around the benches.

At 12 their afternoon classes start and they're divided again into three classes to work and James and I are on lunch break for an hour and a half. The day seems so much longer than it is and so much happens in those few hours that when lunch comes around sitting down and eating something sounds like you've just won the lottery. Don't get me wrong I love working with the kids but it does take more out of you than you realize.


The kids wake up and have a snack of crackers and water before heading in for afternoon assembly where James tells the children a Bible story while Rehuel translates for him, the other teachers and I hold as many kids on and around us as we can while making sure children are not messing with things they shouldn’t. The kids generally listen well but we all have our days where we can’t sit still and when there’s 80 kids that can't sit still a lot of grace is needed; which God always provides but we don't always tap into.


After another prayer children head to the front yard and play on the swings, kick balls, chase each other or curl up in our laps as they wait for their parents to come and arrive. It used to be hard to let the kids go home; not knowing where they're going to or knowing and not liking it. But if God has taught me anything it's that He does not just live here at Maranatha; He goes home with the children as well. He cares for them, looks out for them and always brings them back no matter what virus strikes.

I've been more than blessed to be a part of this organization and to see the ups and downs of running a preschool and life in general on this little island. These children are so very smart and well behaved they humble me on a daily basis. I look forward to what God has in store for the future!




Friday, April 25, 2014

Bright Eyes

Sitting on my lap, very quietly but as always very attentive & obedient; his shaved head beginning to sweat, is a little boy with the brightest eyes. It is just after 2:30pm so most of the kids are still racing about, they're all waiting to be picked up after a fun day at Preschool. I wrap my arms around him to hug him close “Ca va?” (how you doing?) as usual he doesn't respond “Ou bien?” (You good?") he nods his head and snuggles closer. We start rocking as the cool breeze plays with the long leaves of the palm tree beside us. I kick the random ball that is kicked my way,  talk in my broken creole to the children and tickle those that get close enough. He quietly rests his head on my shoulder and after a time falls asleep till almost all of the children have been picked up. His beautiful sister loves to play with my hair and is surprisingly one of the three that are very gentle, not that the other children are mean, but their thick hair is tougher than my thin caramel hair and they're used to tugging where my scalp (though babysitting and younger siblings has toughened it up some) can only take so much before it comes out. She begins braiding and twisting the strands together, as he wakes up he too begins to play with the tip of my hair trying to copy his sisters actions.

When their mother arrives she walks over and pats his little cheek as he stares up at her, his fingers still hard at work "Bonswa" (Good afternoon) she greets all three of us, my head is cocked so I can see his face and I'm shocked when from his little mouth comes a whispered "Bonswa". I had never heard him talk!!! His mother assured me that he talks "All the time" at home but the teachers and I all explained that none of us had ever heard him talk; though he's always very obedient and sweet. 

The next morning I didn't see my little bright eyes before it was time to serve the kids breakfast. I helped to serve the plates of oatmeal and raisins to each of the kids and spotted him sitting at one of the long tables. He is one of the last ones to finish eating along with another little girl with bright ribbons in her hair "Bonjour Redjina, comme ye?" (Good morning, how are you?) I ask kissing her forehead as she leans back to look at me "Mwen bien, messi" (I'm good, thank you) she giggles as I tickle her "Bonjour Chilo, comme ye?" I kiss his forehead and he pauses for a moment, his deep brown eyes melting my heart for the millionth time "Bien" he whispers, I can't help the huge smile that escapes my lips "Bien?'" he gives me an almost smile and replies "Oui" my heart felt like it was going to burst  "Oh wow, bravo! Messi por parle avek mwen!" This happened in my second week of being here in Haiti while my mom was here; she happened to walk in as this was happening and I turned to her and whispered excitedly as I pulled him close "He spoke!"

Over the past 3 and a 1/2 months little bright eyes has progressed in school and continues to be a sweet and loving little boy. He's a quick learner and is one of the first in the 2's class to go to first position on his own, he loves dance class and his face lights up as he runs to jump over the river. 

A month ago the children were playing with chalk. We'd been working on horizontal lines and vertical lines and to my amazement little bright eyes began to draw little horizontal and vertical lines on the black gate with his green piece of chalk!!! We all praised him and like the little sweetheart that he is he gave us a little smile, acknowledging the praise and went back to work; vertical, horizontal, vertical, horizontal.

Whenever I've had a rough day it always seems little bright eyes knows and will come at the end of the day to sit with me and wait for his parents to come pick him up. He'll play with my hair, snuggle up against me and the love from his little heart just seems to pour out on me. 

Yesterday he'd waited for the two kids that had "stolen" my lap before him to be picked up, as soon as they left he toddled over and climbed up onto my lap. I snuggled him close and asked him if he'd had a good day, his usual whispered answer met my ear and I felt like I needed to interact with him more and get him to say something else. So I turned him around on my lap to face me. I held his hands and began play "This is the Way the Gentlemen Ride" (the child sits on you lap as you bounce them slowly for ladies, medium for Gentleman, fast for Jockey and than rock them side to side for Old man and let them fall backwards at the end) As soon as I started his face broke into a bright, toothy grin and he began to laugh! I'd heard him laugh a handful of times but it was always just a short little laugh when I tickled him or when he'd get really excited and the rest of his class were laughing. We played this several times and as another little girl was passing by who I always play Kote Ou (Where are you?/Peek-a-Boo) I put my hand over his eyes and said "Kote ou?".... "Voila! Mwen wè ou!" he laughed again and he couldn't stop smiling that wide, toothy smile. After a bit I told him it was his turn, I placed my hands over my eyes and he grabbed my wrist; I told him he had to say the words or "it wouldn't work" I waited for a moment and then came his tiny voice "Kote Hope?" a little bit louder than a whisper!

It's easy to let little things slip by us or to not take something very seriously. But the little things count. A child thats brave enough to be pushed a little harder and higher on the swings, the older child that helps a younger one down from the gazebo or helps them finish eating and takes them to the bathroom,  the child that closes and folds their hands for prayer instead of wiggling around, the child that chooses to obey when others don't,  the one that eats all their food, the one thats brings your attention to a child in pain or with a fever. All the children that hug you for the first time or say something new. The one that used scissors correctly though their paper is almost shredded. They should all be praised, noticed and shown some love because believe it or not; it makes a huge difference.

So, open your eyes this weekend, find the person working hard without any encouragement and encourage them. Find the little, beautiful moments that are worth praise. And hug someone because everyone needs a hug.